Ethnocentrism...

"Ethnocentrism: characterized by or based on the attitude that one's own group is superior."
- Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

I have a great shirt. In fact, it's my favorite shirt. It is the only shirt I have ever owned that I have named. It's called "The Red Barron". This picture will help explain the name:

The Red Barron

I have been accused on well more than one occasion of wearing a shirt with the ever popular Nazi Swastika all day. This happens every time I wear this. Does no one know the difference!?

What's more, I get accused of being a white supremacist occasional as well. Just the other day I was listening to my favorite German disco group, Dshcingis Khan. A friend of mine walked in and almost had a heart attack. "Oh my gosh! You are a white guy listening to German music? Do you know how scary that is?"

I didn't.

She then began to go off on how I shouldn't listen to that becuase it looks bad. It was ok, however, to have her or a member of her race listen. This girl is from Sri Lanka, so I guess "white folk" are still an enigma to her. I was trying to defend myself and Germans when she explained to me that one can't be racist to a white person, "they started it!" I was just about to tie her to a cross and light it on fire when I thought that might just prove her point. She thinks I am some sort of Hitler sympathizer because I wear The Red Barron and like a few German songs. It didn't help when I told her about my recent trip to the Fatherland, Germany.

Ahh, Fatherland Germany!

The ironic dichotomy is that I am just as frequently accused of having Asian Fever. If I was some white supremacist, why would I date Asians? These people need to check their facts. Ok, sure the Nazis did team up with Japan for a time, but they didn't date.

I seem to have everybody's ethnocentrism in my face. I know, however, that I am completely free of that...unlike those stinkin' Krauts and Chinks...

Just As Bad...

It's official, I have really got to sharpen my skills. By that I mean in relation to the opposite sex.

Today I was hanging out in my chapel's foyer talking with a girl in my ward. I decided a long time ago that I needed to get myself out more and date. I have been thinking of girls I would like to ask out. This girl I was talking to was one of the girls that I thought would be fun to ask out but I never got around to asking yet.

While in our conversation she mentioned that she only gets asked about once a month or so. This sounded like as good as a time as any to ask. I asked her what she was doing this Saturday. At first she thought I might have just been saying it as a joke. Then she thought I was just doing it as if I felt obligated to due to our subject of discussion. I tried to let her know that I was asking also because I wanted to, not because I felt she needed it.

"Oh, you're not just asking me because I said I don't get asked out much?"

"Oh, no, I need this just as bad as you do...er..."

By then it was too late. I had just turned an honest attempt at a fun date into an awkward silence. JD was there and he tried to bail me out.

"Well, Jared has been off his game for a while. You have to excuse him."

He's not wrong!

I think I should ask more girls out just to get into my goove. Or, maybe I should take some classes. All I know is that when I ask girls out, regardless of my intention, the sad truth is that I don't need it just as bad as them...I need it MUCH more.

Appearances...

I have a copy of the quality book of Spencer W. Kimball "The Miracle Of Forgiveness". Have you ever read it? It's a great book. It's full of good stuff. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to previously committed some serious sin to get a lot out of it.

The only shame of it is that no one (except for missionaries and bishops) will read it in a place where others can see you. It is no small secret that bishops prescribe this book in question to offending sinners in route of redemption. Thus, this book has been given a bad rap. In a Mormon climate, reading this book is ironically the appearance of evil. Therefore, many refuse to read it in an attempt to follow the admonition of Harold B. Lee to James E. Faust:

"The best counsel I ever received about staying away from the edge came when, as a young married man, President Harold B. Lee called me to be a member of a bishopric. He said, 'From now on, you must not only avoid evil, but also the appearance of evil.'"
- James E. Faust, "Acting for Ourselves and Not Being Acted Upon," Ensign, Nov. 1995, 45

I hope that if you are reading this you might get over your preconceived notions about the book. Even if you are not currently a sinner that shall be thrust down to hell you might want to check it out. I promise that I won't accuse you of some sort of sexual perversion...well...at least to your face.

The Miracle Of Forgiveness

Uh...Thanks...?

Today I got an odd gift in the mail. It was from my friend Jessica Monson who is now on a mission in Texas. You would never guess what she sent me.

A coconut.

Ya, I'm thinking it too. Why would she send a coconut from Texas to Hawaii? That's like me sending a rattle snake from Hawaii to Texas. I don't get it. Now I just need to crack it open. I might as well enjoy it. Where can I get a rock to hit it with?

When I Grow Up...

Father: "So, John, what do you want to do when you grow up?"
John: "I don't want to grow up; I want to be a Toys R Us kid."
- John Kerley to a date's father before they left for the evening.

At my age when someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up, they are basically talking down to you as a child with hopes and dreams, but no intent or purpose.

If you know me, you most likely say that I am immature. I can neither confirm nor deny that. But I can tell you what the official stance of Brigham Young University Hawaii General Consensus Department's™ stance on that is.

When I first came here as a young single lad I was full of hope and inspiring awe. Now it has been a full two years since I first stepped into the academic environment here and realized that the "H" in BYU-H actually stood for "High" as in High School. As far as I can tell, only one thing has changed in me from then to now. I am no longer young. For some reason I am really starting to feel my age. I see most of my actual peers moving on, getting married or worrying about their kids. They are adults. I may be the same age, but for some reason, am still just a kid.

I guess what really spurs this on is something that happened to me the other day. I went into an office here on campus. We make the mistake of hiring students for everything here on campus and have poor levels of service here as a result. This department is no exception. I had to see a department head about something. I made an appointment and was waiting to see him. When he comes out the secretary that knew I was waiting for the department head gestures toward me and says, "Oh, we have a kid here to see you..."

Not only did I not like what she said, she also said it in the "this is grow-up talk, pretend to not hear us" tone. This minimum wage employee was likely the same age as me; perhaps a couple of years older - tops. How is it so apparent that I am a "kid"? What is the real distinguisher here, anyway?

Then, the next day I went to my beloved* RA class. In this class our teacher wanted us to show the rest of our class what fun games we learned from other cultures. I had a look on my face that was quite obvious. I was trying to keep a smile but due to my mood, they must have thought I was like a creature in the wild just bearing my teeth in hopes to keep them at bay. I was not asked to participate.

Select few were called up to the front. They were paired guy/girl. Then they had to stand on a single sheet of newspaper and dance on it. After about :30 to :60 seconds they would stop the music and fold the paper in half and do it again. Once a pair was no longer capable of dancing on the paper they would be out. Cute? Ya, I played it a few times in FHE. Great. But at that moment I had a revelation. The reason I want to get married so bad has nothing to do with getting married. It's so I don't have to participate in stupid things like that anymore.

This is what the Brigham Young University Hawaii General Consensus Department's™ stance is on being an adult: If you are married, you are an adult. If not, you are a kid. That's it.

Had I been an adult, they would not make me sign out to make a midnight run to Chevron. If I had been an adult, they wouldn't have sent me to the Honor Code office and a tribunal council because I dressed up for April Fools. If I had been an adult they wouldn't make me eat three square meals in the Much Applauded Caf™ as part of my rent. If I were an adult President Shumway would have listened to me when I was there to support a proposal of a campus radio station and not shrug it off as mere childish fantasy. If I were an adult they wouldn't refer to me as "kid" when I am there on business. And if I were and adult they wouldn't make my class play a "dance-on-a-newspaper-with-some-girl-they-pair-you-with" game. The little gold or silver band on your finger distinguishes maturity not matrimony on this campus.

Being a kid can be fun. It has it's advantages. But I am tired of being talked down to. I am tired of having my opinions disregarded because I am just a kid. I am tired of having my teachers and married peers talk around me in exclusive "big-boy" tones. They sure seem to think of my wallet as a grown-up’s wallet. Why not me?

So, when people ask me what I want to do when I grow up won't tell them the cute little answers they expect from us lesser beings. No, not the fireman, policeman, superhero or even the lesser sought after childhood dream of fiscal clerk. I will tell them the truth. "I want to be a married adult that has your respect."

Truly, that is all I want to be.

I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cuz I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world

I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cuz I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cuz I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me tonight
I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cuz I'm just a kid tonight

- I'm Just A Kid by Simple Plan

* = Less than beloved...