Jared Bodine's "A Series Of Mixed-Fortune Events"...

"This is the true story of an eventful evening of a young man living on a small island in the most secluded land on earth. My name is Jared Bodine, and I have the duty to tell you his happening in these series of mixed-fortune events."

Chapter 1

This was Jared's last Friday in Honolulu for the year. He and his friend JD were the best of friends. They were once roommates. On occasion they would talk the night away discussing life changing events such as what the climax to The Matrix Reloaded was or trivial quests such as whom would be the right girl to marry. They also shared a position as Resident Advisors (RA) to their domicile known as Hale (Ha-lay) 4. The next night was to be check-out time for residents leaving. This meant the next day was to be filled with work for young Jared, and JD would have his share of work to do as well. Since this was a beautiful Friday night indeed, they decided to make the most of it. Each guy had a girl at his side. For JD it was Leslie. She was an unassuming Chinese girl who’d come from Macao. Jared had with him Anna, her true name Ngoc, but it is unpronounceable to the English tongue. She was seemingly a quite and solemn girl; hardly made a fuss. However, she had fire within her that would manifest itself when provoked. It seemed a harmless and carefree trip to the famous Waikiki of Oahu. The plan was to cruise the strip and see the nice Christmas decorations that lavishly adorn King Street at this time of year.

On the precipice of the voyage a prayer is offered by JD for safety. Not ten minutes later the check engine light decides to offer its red luminescent glow to the dash. Eventually, our protagonists make a pit stop at Kahalu’u’s 7-11. After five minutes of watching JD hunt around for the lever to open the hood, Jared steps out from the back seat and the arms of Anna. He walks around, looks at the driver side. After a few seconds of inspection, he unceremoniously opens the hood and steps back.

The inside of the car was a myriad wires, hoses, and hot metal parts – none of which looked to be in place. JD looked at Jared and they shrugged at each other. There was some poking and some prodding, there even was some popping. A conclusion was made that nothing wrong could be found. The crew decided to push on into the night.

It only took a few wrong turns to get the car right back on track.

"Jared, what is my exit?" asked JD. Jared had served a mission for his faith earlier in that same neighborhood, so he was the closest thing to an expert of the area as could be found in that car.

"You need to take Punhanou."

"I don’t see it yet."

"Ya, I know, JD, we are not there yet."

"Do you mean ‘Punchbowl’?"

"No, I mean ‘Punahou’."

"Are you sure, Jared?"

Sixty seconds later the argument ended as the sign for Punahou appeared in the horizon.

"Which way do I turn?" JD enquired of Jared.

Jared’s answer was right. JD was in the left lane. He was able to make it into the left side of the right hand turning lanes just as the red light caught them in their tracks. This is where the fun begins.

Chapter 2

JD, recently engaged with his damsel Leslie, took the opportunity to kiss his fiancé. Jared pretended not to notice. Anna seemed to think it was cute. While the emotions were moving, the car had stopped its motion of any kind. There was a sputter, then nothing. The car, it would have seemed, had died.

This is the day of power steering and power breaks. All of these good inventions, but also become more of a burden when they fail to work properly. It was decided that burley arms and legs would be needed to navigate the dead stick and stop the rolling boulder. Jared was the new pilot. JD took on the role of head wingman. To make the burden not rest on the females in the group, some friendly men on the street had appeared to offer assistance. A few good pushes and the car was in motion on a downward slope. Jared, now steering a multi-ton paper weight on wheels, had to decide where to rest the vehicle, and hoped to avoid that from being on the bumper of another. As he lost his momentum he looked to the heavens only to see a light in not too distant skyline. It was a beacon. It was an omen. It was a guiding relic. It was, in fact, the lighted bell tower to the Honolulu LDS Tabernacle.

Another failed attempt to start the car told the despondent group that the car must be pushed to a destination safer than the side of busy street at midnight. The glistening object like a lighthouse guided the weary travelers toward the “Tab” as it was dubbed by the locals. The car was safely stowed in the parking lot as so much overhead baggage. They spied a solitary car in the parking lot besides their own. The assembly began to hunt this individual out for assistance or perhaps a friendly jump start. In true horror-stories-gone-awry fashion, they broke up into groups. Every door knob was twisted or lifted to quest for the lone car man. In no time the two lost traveling pairs met back up without a scratch upon either. At this point the plight of the entourage became apparent. They must stay the night.

The Bus system that was hailed so vehemently by the proud city was shut down for the evening and would not run again until the next morning. There was not a friend that could be called as well. For most of these friends had no cars and would be of no help. In effort to salvage what they could of the evening, they all jumped on their respective cell phones and made a flurry of calls. The first on the list to be called was David.

David was another RA. He did have a car. And it was likely that he might also have the wherewithal to excavate the route to make a departure possible for our now hopeless lost ones. Alas, he answered. But, alas, he was not anywhere near the area and had no intention to be. Jared had to ask David to work hours for him the next day. Jared was sure that he now had no hope of returning at all before the sun came up. David would have to work the RA office for Jared, as there was no other way. David responded in the affirmative.

The next step was to call “trustworthy” Richie. This was the fourth and final RA for Hale 4. He was in the office that evening. As it was just now hitting the stroke of midnight, there was a chance that he had not left for the evening yet. The phone never rang. Jared was greeted with a busy signal. He called again. Then again. And again. This continued for over 15 minutes when that was obviously a closed avenue. A phone call was made to "trustworthy" Richie’s room phone. A message was left and then attention was turned to options.

The young group thought it better to not get a hotel together. This is for obvious reasons besides that of monetary setbacks. It was also not the best idea for the four to sit in the car all night only a stone’s throw away from the road. It was back to the Tab and that one door that was left open.

Chapter 3

They had arrived at the door that led to a dark and ominous feeling room. One by one they would walk into what felt like an abyss of blackness so thick you could feel it on the lungs. Just as this sensation hit them, another one soon replaced it. It turns out it wasn’t a sensation at all, but rather the addition of light. A quick look around told them that they had arrived in what appeared to be a sumptuously decorated basketball court. It was clear that it was an LDS chapel. Only the Mormon people will put so much effort into making a common basketball court into a beautiful dinning hall. This was quite the swaraie. There must have been over two dozen long tables each with a nice table piece and lined with chairs. Each of the intruders speculated on their own as to what the occasion must have been. Eventually the words "Happy Birthday" were spied. Jared was no stranger to such a large set up for a birthday. "It’s a one-year-old birthday luau."

"How do you know?" Inquired Anna.

"I have lived here off and on since 1998. I have been to dozens of luaus like this. Each and every one that was this large and a birthday was for one-year-olds."

"Why is that?"

"Back in the day, the death rate of children was pretty high. If the baby could live through it’s first birthday, that was the sign that he would live a full life. So, they threw a big party to celebrate it, almost like now it was officially born and would live. The tradition kind of stuck."

After the lesson was taught, it was time to get some rest. Along the sides of the walls were narrow padded benches. They were just long enough to hold two full size adults (or one Ha’ole and one Asian) lying down end to end. JD and Leslie occupied one while Jared and Anna shared the one next to it. Occasionally, Jared pretended not to hear the distant but familiar sound of lips smacking up against each other. It was dark enough to sleep, but uncomfortable enough to keep Jared awake. Soon he could hear the lips replaced with lungs as JD serenaded all with his symphony of snoring. Jared finally dozed off at 1:30am.

That sleep was short lived because at 1:45am his phone rang. Trying to act quick enough to keep the others from waking up, but slow enough to disturb the log sawing of JD, Jared answered the phone. The other end held “trustworthy” Richie. He called just to ask whether Jared and his friends had made it to some shelter for the night. Jared made him rest assure that they would be fine. He neglected to mention that the habitat was a broken into Tabernacle. Richie seemed glad to hear the news. "That’s good, bra. Well, I’m getting ready to do bed checks soon. Have a good night."

Jared was surprised that Richie had elected to do bed checks on this evening of all others. Surprised but not concerned, Jared rolled over, accidentally pulling a good lock of hair out of Anna’s head, and tried to resume sleep. It proved to be a daunting task.

After finally accomplishing a half-hour of shut-eye, JD comes to Jared with the idea of trying the car, and getting in it and rolling away for home if it works. Jared and Anna had no intention of leaving the roof overhead. JD reminded Jared and Anna that there was more going on. The very next day the Prophet of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was to be on their campus, and JD and Leslie both were to sing for him at about 8am. This meant they could not sit around and wait for the bus in the morning. They had to go as soon as possible. In addition, sleeping in an actual bed did sound nice, so the entourage left in form with slopping shoulders and stumbling feet toward the derelict car.

All attempts to start the car again had failed. At this point, the battery was so low, it was touch and go for a while to see if the power window would even make up back up. The car cheered for it like the underdog accidentally bet on at a racetrack.

An epiphany then hit JD. He had Keys! No, not the kind of keys you are thinking of. He had the Keys. The Keys were a family living in Laie that were good friends of JD. They were like family to him. When it comes to being stranded any friend of JD’s was a friend of Jared’s and so Jared was more than behind JD’s idea of calling in reinforcements. The two girls, Anna and Leslie, remained tired and quiet. After only one ring, there was a sudden answer.

JD spoke up stunned. "I’m surprised you are awake."

"Mumble, mumble, mumble."

"Ya, well, that’s an amazing coincidence. We are stranded too."

"Mumble, mumble, mumble."

"Oh, we are Honolulu. We are in the tabernacle parking lot. Do you think you could come get us?"

"Mumble, mumble, mumble."

"Great, thanks."

"Mumble."


In an amazing coincidence, the Keys’ son of similar age to JD was also stranded. This mean the Keys were not only already prepared, but they would be the perfect people for this emergency being so experienced. A reconnaissance party was now deployed. The girls were as good as dead. Jared was not willing to walk around more than necessary and JD wanted to make sure the Keys would be greeted upon arrival. That meant another attempted power nap. This time JD decided to discover other ways of keeping Jared up other than snoring.

The windows were now safely up, but this caused a hot and sweaty environment. If a door was opened, the light was too distracting to sleep in. JD opened the door just slightly to get some fresh air, but not enough to trigger the light switch. This was a great idea in concept, but this delicate balance proved too hard to maintain in a stupor of sleep deprivation. For Jared, Leslie, and Anna, it felt like being a def man in a disco - plenty of flashing lights, silent as a grave.

Harkening back to his resourcefulness as a Boy Scout, JD improvises. At the sacrifice of bumping Jared’s back, he removed his shoes and then the shoelaces. The removed laces were strung together and randomly wound around the head rest of the seat in front of JD, moving Jared around like a piñata in the wind. It only took JD as long to arrange the contraption as it took the Keys to circumvent the island and arrive. Still being up from gloating over his handy work, JD left the car to greet the Key’s.

Chapter 4

Jared woke up wondering why he dreamt about being in the rodeo. He noticed it had only been maybe an hour, possible less since he last checked his watch. He must have woken up when he heard a car door slam shut. He looked toward the sound. It was not a good sound. It was not the Keys at all. It was security. Walking around the driver side to the abandoned yet strangely occupied car was an older Fijian man. Jared looked over at the two sleeping ladies looking like angels at rest. He might have been tired and confused, but knew he could protect these women from any problem security was going to give them.

Living on a college campus, Jared was defensive at the sight of any security. It was a bad after taste from having to deal with Brigham Young University Hawaii campus security over the past few years. This man was here to help. Just as Jared realized this, he turned his head to the other window to see the truck of the Keys and JD walking around the corner of that vehicle.

When the Keys arrived, JD left with them to the nearby gas station a half mile down the road for a set of jumper cables. While asking the underpaid employee for any direction, it so happened this security man was behind them in line. It was a Godsend. When he heard they were stranded at the Tab (being of the same faith), he knew he must help. That is what brought them together that night.

Being the expert at opening the hood to JD’s defunct car, Jared pulled the lever once again. The security guard who was named Aleka, JD and the only member of the Keys that came, Sister Keys all sat around the entanglement of modern engineering that was under the hood. It was reminiscent of the opening scene of 2001: A Space Oddisy. The monkeys were scratching their heads. Eventually, they picked up the modern bone (jumper cables) and began hitting the object before them. It was only a matter of many long minutes before the juice was flowing from one battery to the other.

Aleka gave Jared (still sitting behind the wheel) the signal to give it a go. It was less than successful. The primates outside the car were determined to invent the wheel, so to speak, and did not take that as a sign of defeat. The other engine was revved. Jared was given the international symbol for “turn the key” again. And again, less than successful. This would usually imply that it was time for a new tactic. So, the poster boys of the evolution chart in action touched the cables, wiggled some wires, and gave Jared the familiar sign language again. This produced the same result. After 15 more minutes of sitting in a circle and picking ticks from each other’s backs one last effort was made. Jared now tired of sitting behind a wheel of disappointment left the car to socialize and make contact with these poor creatures who had given up.

At length, the conclusion was made that the car must be towed, and to avoid excessive charge, not until morning. It was time to saddle up in the Keys’ car and get rolling. At this moment Jared had a recollection of the contents of JD’s trunk.

Not too long ago, Jared was asked by a friend leaving the island to sell a bass guitar. Jared agreed did not have the means as of yet. He had inadvertently left the guitar and supplied amplifier in the trunk. Before the car was left to its own devices, Jared transferred the equipment to the new vessel of freedom. Aleka found that interesting. He inquired about it to JD. This was just what Aleka was looking for. Aleka strolled over to Jared and examined the Bass. It just so happened that Aleka was the very person Jared needed to find to buy that guitar. Perhaps the night was not a total bust after all. Aleka exchanged numbers with Jared and some hand shakes were exchanged as the assembly saddled up in the Keys family vehicle. Jared slipped in and out of consciousness with Anna at his side as they finally were on the move toward home at a half past 5am.

Chapter 5

Not wanting to go through the entire long one way circle that is the circumference of campus the Key’s dropped the group off by the new Littler Circle which is in front of and not to be confused with the Little Circle. The weary four of our travelers walked slowly toward the beckoning beds that lie in wait. The girls were walked home while Jared carried the soon to be sold bass guitar. JD carried Leslie. Anna had to carry herself.

After the girls were tucked in (the guys couldn’t come it to make sure, but they wanted to) the gentlemen slumped toward their hale. As they walked in the door they looked at each other and complimented themselves on a job well done. They then turned toward their doors and saw that each had received an award for their effort! What may that reward be? It was a bright and shiny fine of $25 for curfew violation from "trustworthy" Richie. JD was livid. Jared followed in emotion. After venting amongst themselves for a few minutes, JD left a pleasant note on the back of the fine receipt for Richie and left them on his door. It now being only a few ticks from 7am, the boys laid their heads down for some much needed rest. Little did they know, neither would get it.

Within 10 minutes JD left and met up with Leslie to sing for the prophet. Tired or not, he had a commitment to be there. Anna and Jared slept in their separate rooms. That is, until 8am when there was a rapping at Jared’s door. He didn’t answer. It was only a few seconds later when the knocking repeated only louder. A third bout of knocking and Jared heard the rattling of a key in the knob. It was "trustworthy" Richie come to wake up Jared. "Did you forget that we had check-outs today at 8?"

"No, I didn’t forget, nor am I doing it. I traded with David, take it up with him. And on another note, I need to yell at you later, but not right now. I don’t want to even look at you right now!"

"trustworthy" Richie left. Jared tried to resume sleep. Wouldn’t you know it that only five minutes later "trustworthy" Richie came back into Jared’s room letting himself in with the master key. "Mom wants to talk to you. She doesn’t like that you traded with David."

"Fine." "trustworthy" Richie did not leave the room as Jared pulled back on the same clothes he had worn the day before, which felt like the same day. Jared figured that since "trustworthy" Richie would not leave, he might as well take advantage of the situation. "I am really mad at you. You backstabber! How can you be like that? What is wrong with you? You are really on my "crap" list."

"trustworthy" Richie had a great defense; he stood there smiling. Jared walked toward the office with one last statement for “trustworthy” Richie following. "You are NOT to come into my room again, got it? You are not invited in here again – EVER!"

When Jared walked in he heard Hale Mom arguing with David. The dorm mom was called simply "mom" for convenience. Her real name was Therese. It was sort of a joke to call her "Mother Theresa" but no one ever did.

Mom and David were trying to figure out what each other were saying while both talking. Jared, sleep deprived, frustrated, betrayed and not angry spoke up. "Look, it’s not that complicated. My car broke down. I called David to cover for me in the morning. You (to David) thanks for coming in for me. I called "trustworthy" Richie so he could plant a dagger square between my shoulder blades. You (to "trustworthy" Richie), Die. I didn’t call mom because I didn’t have her number and it was well after midnight anyway. You (to Mom) Sorry, but I am really tired and have lost all sleep. I will just stay here now that I’m angry and over tired I can’t sleep anyway!"

Mom was then very understanding. She turned to "trustworthy" Richie. "Richie! What is he doing here? I didn’t tell you to get him! He was sleeping! I told you just to let me know if he was home! Why do you think you can just run off and do what ever you want like you run the place? Huh? And Jared, don’t worry about those fines. You should not have been fined. I had Richie throw them away as soon as I found out. Why don’t you go and take a shower and eat breakfast and then come back when you are refreshed. We’ll cover for you while you do."

This was the saving grace for Jared. He felt like hugging the beautiful lady. Then he did as he left. While in the shower reflecting on the events of the last 12 hours Jared couldn’t help but feel like this was an odd mix of events for such a short time. He was having fun going to Honolulu; he was upset to be stranded. He was happy to break into the Tabernacle; upset to leave and be again stranded behind the wheel of a car hoping for someone to come. He was happy to see rides arrive and sell the guitar he had on hand; he was upset to see a fine on his door when he came home. He was happy that Mom had sided with him in the dispute and now, before there is a chance for any more upsetting moments, he decided that his day had officially changed from one to the next while in the shower ensuring that he would end on a happy note. It’s got to be rare to make sure you can end on top with bad odds and a whole series of mixed-fortune events.