Feminists Dogma Update...

By popular demand I am supplementing information regarding my gender studies class and offering an update.

At one time I was looking forward to this class. Now, I look forward to the teacher evaluation and on toward graduation from these ridiculous courses.

This class went from "Comm 280: Communication and Gender Studies" to "Comm 280: Battered women of the world unite".

What has had me the most frustrated lately is the tripe* our teacher fed us recently about the horrors of our all male-dominated language. To show you what ridiculous thoughts I am referring to, I will highlight some of my favorite assaying sentiments presented by the author.

First and foremost we have a real gem, the feminist dictionary:

"In 1988, Kramare and Paula Treichler compiled a feminist dictionary that offers definitions for women's words that don't appear in Webster's New International and also presents alternative feminine readings of words that do.

"Parenthood: A condition which often brings dramatic changes to new mothers - 'loss of job, income, and status; severing of networks and social contacts; and adjustments to being a "housewife." Most new fathers do not report similar social dislocations.'"

(Oh, real great. Now these feminists are going beyond marriages and are trying to break up families by stopping them from being made. In my opinion, parenthood is nothing to scoff so casually. It may be taxing on the mother, I am not discounting that, but it changes EVERYBODY's life. It's called life.)

"Feminist: 'I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.'"

(So those are the only two choices? Feminist or doormat? Does this blog post make me a doormat for not being a feminist or feminist for not being a doormat?)

"Depression: A psychiatric label that...hides the social fact of the housewife's loneliness, low self-esteem, and work dissatisfaction."

(This sound more like something a "chauvinistic pig" would write. Is this to mean that clinical depression is not real but made up? Not only are there unfortunate depressed people out there but this author now tells them that they are also lonely and have a low self-esteem. Ya, nice way to rally up the troops, ladies.)

The same article goes on to say that the reason why men and women don't understand each other has nothing to do with misunderstandings or differences that come with being of different sexes. Rather, "when men don't have a clue about what women want, think or feel, it's because they haven't made the effort to find out."

To an extent this may be true. But I can tell you loads of stories where even my best efforts to understand the fairer sex has been thwarted for unknown reasons. I think my buddy Shem and even some female friends of mine would have to agree with me on this point: Sometimes there is no amount of effort in the world that can help men understand the complexities of womanhood.

The author goes on with the assumption of being perfectly correct and offers "further interpretation of men's ignorance."

"The crucial issue here is that if women cease to be muted, men cease to be so dominant and to some males this may seem unfair because it represents a loss of rights."

(*heavy on the sarcasm*) Wow, great! How does the author know me so well? When I call my sister every week to talk I never let her get a word in. You see, I'm afraid that if she speaks to me and I listen than I am placing my tail between my legs. It is a violation of my rights to listen to women. I also don't think that women should have the right to vote because their right to do so limits my ability to do the same. That author sure got my number!

So it is clearly the fault of men, and men alone, when they do not understand women. Is the same of the reciprocal? Are women to blame for not understanding men? Of course not!

Women are said to not have the capability to communicate in this world due to the language that men have made. The author refers to "mainstream communication as 'malestream' expression."

So what are the poor defenseless women to do? "'...in order to participate in society women must transform their own models in terms of the received male system of expression.' Like speaking in a second language, this translation process requires constant effort and usually leaves a woman wondering whether she's said it 'just right.' One woman write says men can 'tell it straight.' Women have to 'tell it slant.'"

Tell it slant!? It's the slant talk that confuses men. Why can't a woman tell it straight too? I'd rather have the honest emotions compared to this "second language" the author proposes that women speak. It sounds to me like this author is only perpetuating the existent problems further.

Rather than offer a solution to these problems it is presented as a lost hope: "'Women have had to work through the system organized by men.' For women with less skill and self-confidence...that prospect can be daunting."

Again, the poor woman with less skill and self-confidence who is not just depressed but also lonely and battered with a low self-esteem. She can't cope in this world! She has no voice!

Crying victim seems to a common drum beat upon.

I dare say that getting around with "less skill and self-confidence" would be a prospect that could be daunting for a man as well as a woman.

As fun as this article has been, I just can't wait until I get strapped into a chair, my eyes pulled open and am forced to watch Thelma and Louise 24 hours a day while the water drops into my drying peepers will be my only source of nourishment. I believe they call that class "Comm 380: Advanced Gender Communications".

To the astonishment of many, the author, although constantly quoting female feminist authors, was actually a man (at least at the time of birth).

Likely, he took Comm 380 prior to the compilation of this masterpiece.

* = E.M. Griffen "The Muted Group Theory of Cheris Kramare". A First Look At Communication Theory. New York: McGraw Hill. 1997