I'm Dreaming Of A Brown Christmas...

Unbeknownst to my family, I have had the tickets to go home for Christmas since before I left to Hawaii for the semester. I have always wanted to surprise my family by showing up unannounced. I even contemplated over telling my family I was coming off my mission at a different day so I could show up at the door when they least expected me, but that fell through. This was my chance.

I had my friend, Lamb, pick me up from the airport. It was about 8am, so we went to a nearby McDonald's for breakfast. While there, Lamb made a new friend.

Lamb's New Navajo Friend

This new friend of Lambs wanted to know how to get from there to North Glendale. The bus was proposed, but, Oh, what a surprise, he didn't have the money for the bus. I told him good luck. I don't know that part of the valley and I don't know if the bus goes there or anything. Lamb broke down, and did the nice Christmas thing to do and gave the guy $5.

For his troubles, Lamb got an extra bonus. The guy had Lamb take off his hat, put foreheads together and say a Navajo prayer. He blessed each item on Lamb's plate by coming dangerously close to touching them. Then most parts of Lamb's body by the same method. The close inner-thigh part was my personal favorite.

The bum thanked Lamb again and went behind a wall outside to drink with his friends, not apparently in a hurry to buy that bus ticket. Lamb wasn't happy with himself for always caving in to such ploys. "There's one born every minute..." That's true. But at lest there are nice people like Lamb that are willing part with what they have.

After that, it was time to get things ready. We drove around the back of a good half dozen stores looking for a box big enough to hold me. We finally found one at Toys-R-Us. After a stop at another store for wrapping paper and tape we took a break at a local Western-themed dirt hole called "Rawhide." While there, I called my parents to make sure they would be home. My mom told me that she was sick. I jokingly asked her if she wanted me to bring by a cup of chicken noodle soup. She laughed about it and expressed remorse for not being able to afford bringing me home for Christmas. I told her not to worry.

Lamb and I drove to my house, wrapped the box, cut out the bottom, and rang the door bell. He hid around the corner. My dad came out and started to make an effort to move the box. I held on with a little handle I had made. He gave up and read the sign on the top. "To be opened here, now and with Jerry and Netina."

He got my mom and then proceeded to open the box. Just as he was starting to tear the paper I jumped out of the box and yelled, "Merry Christmas!" I think I just about gave my dad another heart attack. It was fun.

I spent the three following days working at WestStar copying the old content of Kim Komando's Web Site to her new one to be published in about a month or so. It's pretty neat to say that I have a hand in the going-ons of such a nationally reputable radio show host and website.

Then on Christmas Eve I rewrapped the box for when my sister, Wendy, and her kids came over. I jumped out on them as they came to open the box. Then I rewrapped it for Ladawn and her kin. Again I jumped out. I heard that Ladawn almost hit the ceiling I scared her so bad. It was fun.

To secure my ability to always remember the event, I recorded each time I jumped out. I have not had a chance to post it to the net yet. I have limited band width here, but will do so once I return to Hawaii and let you know of it then.

You know, many people think I am crazy to give up my tropical paradise in Hawaii for the brownest of brown places: Arizona.


I admit that I feel done with Arizona. Unless I have a compelling reason, I would like to live just about anywhere but Arizona for the rest of my life. Yet I still come back. It's family. The cost, the trouble, the brown, it's all worth it for the chance to be with those you love.


And, yes, the confusion and mess they create is worth it too.