Island Coverage...

Download the P.O.'d Cast Here!

The triumphant return of the P.O.'d Cast is back! I rattled this one off in my head rather than write it down first, so I didn't bother to transcribe it. I did, however, script out the most important parts for you to enjoy.

The Arizona Radio version:

Hang on tight, Kong-Rey has been promoted to typhoon strength. I'm Jared Bodine.

Tropical storm Kong-Rey has been upgraded and is now Typhoon Kong-Rey, which continues to intensify as it moves towards Saipan, Rota and Guam.

As of 1 p.m., Kong-Rey was located 295 miles east-southeast of Guam. The storm is moving northwest at 15 mph. It is expected to continue north-northwest over the next 12 to 24 hours.

Maximum sustained winds have increased to 75 mph. The typhoon may reach sustained winds of 95 to 110 mph within the next 24 hours.

Guam residents remains in Condition 2 of Readiness. That means Residents are urged to put up storm shutters, secure their homes and stock up on food, water and other supplies.

Guam Waterworks Authority officials advises residents to save about one gallon per person per day in the event water service ceases during a storm.

Keep it tuned in here to this station for further updates.

Now, for the version I've been hearing on the local radio here.

Kiss your loved ones goodbye, as the storm turned typhoon makes it way to your house to destroy all you love. I'm Jared Bodine.

As Murphey's Law would have predicted, the tropical storm known as Kong-Rey should now be referred to a typhoon, and the name "King-Kong" is more fitting as it will most certainly clear a path of destruction upon all of Guam and it's residents.

The time to stock up on food was yesterday, as the stores are filled with people, crawling over each other like hungry zombies, vying for a spot to buy what is left on the emptying shelves.

You may wish to cover your windows, but that will help you little as the the typhoon is bound be stronger than any brand of duct tape you purchased to seal your tin shack. And once the roof is ripped of, you won't even remember where the windows once were anyway.

If by some miracle the the typhoon does not kill you and does not render this station incapacitated, keep the dial here for further updated. May God have mercy on us all.

Download the P.O.'d Cast Here!