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| "Amber Waves of Grain" shouldn't describe most yards... |
10. At least one Brazilian soccer team has been lost there.
9. Every time you mow your lawn you find a car.
8. JJ Abrams (LOST, Star Trek Into Darkness) and Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit) argue over filming rights on your property.
7. A David Letterman staff writer offers to write a top ten list about it for you.
6. It's no longer exciting when a new species is discovered in your lawn.
5. If you attempt to tame it, forget eye protection, you need life insurance.
4. An unknown tribe of pygmies is filmed throwing spears at helicopters passing by.
3. When you pull up to Home Depot looking for day workers to help maintain it, they pretend they don't see you.
2. You have to explain to your wife how you lost your daughter while playing "Hide and go seek."
2. You have to explain to your wife how you lost your daughter while playing "Hide and go seek."
1. You have to kick Bear Grylls and his camera crew out...again! (Not to mention his better looking relative, Bunny Grylls.)
