At Least My Dating Life Isn't That Bad...

I was happy to get an email from Jessica Monson's mom whom we call Mom. The meat of the story made me feel better about my lack of dating succuss...

We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake. This just tells
you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on "The Tonight
Show" with Jay Leno.

Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
experience. There is absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
prize!

Marilyn said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...and the guy
had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no
overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, and truly
had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed
home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain,
when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that
extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest
room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to
hold it, which she did for awhile. Unfortunately, because of the heavy
snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had
better stop and let her pee be side the road, or it would be the front
seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her
pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't
have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to
steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching
for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from
peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the
rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As
she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car' s fender. Thoughts of tongues
frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to
disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that
she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her
date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that
indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater
and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to
compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as
hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real
problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded
to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down. or perhaps
that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was
embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment - - - - This gives a whole new
meaning to being "pissed off".