The Mediocre Stuff...

I know it's been a long time since I have blogged. Want to know why? I am actually just too bored to blog. You know that you are too bored when you're too bored to blog. The source of my boredom now is weekend talk radio. For those of you who think that talk radio is already boring, just wait until you hear the weekend crew. It's kind of like the left-overs of radio. In addition, the folks that you don't hear on air is the auxiliary staff as well. That makes for a great combination.

This is a weekend host that has nothing to say: "Uh, so. How's the weather today? Is it raining where you are? Call in and tell me. The lines are now open. 6-0-2-6-5-0-5-3-9-4. Don't want to talk about the weather? That's fine. Is today a good hair day for you? Tell me about it. 6-0-2-6-5-0-5-3-9-4, that’s 6-5-0-K-F-Y-I. ... Hello? Are we on the air? ... Well, I guess it's time to go to our break. Right, guys? I'm talking to those guys in the booth. Ya? O.k. You are listening to KFYI. We are the uh...valley's talk station. ... Is my mic still on? Oh, crap was that on the air. Shi*(mic cut)."

Then the weekend board op (technical director) is bound to screw up as well. He might accidentally play the wrong commercial (spot). So, instead of playing the right one later he just cuts the audio on the air immediately. Then you hear what we call dead air. That's where you sit there wondering who is getting fired. In the station control room you see a young male age 18-25 who is sweating and red in the face. He is frantically pushing multiple buttons on his control board hoping one of these is the right one. Then one will hear the right spot...and another program...and a news cast...and a song...and the wrong spot again. Then one by one they all stop leading into 15 more seconds of dead air. Then the train is back on the track.

The part that I can't understand is how weekend radio gets a special breed of callers. I almost speculate that the regular good callers call in sick, leaving us with the weekend crew for that as well. They never call in on good subjects that are topical and relevant. When the host is trying to fill 50 minutes of time with 30 seconds of content they fall back on the old stand-bys: abortion, immigration and sex. This is the cue for all wackos and lost souls to make their move. The cheap labor board op doesn’t get paid enough to care for content so he just lets any one through. The eager but lacking host wants to share the empty feeling spotlight with anyone that will let them so they then take any call they get. After being on the air for five minutes the caller starts a tirade on being abducted by aliens, receiving anal probes and how every year on the anniversary of the event his butt tingles just a tinge.

Last person involved is the weekend producer. This person is under paid to sit in a cubicle surrounded by the empty cubicles of those that are competent enough to get a salary. Like the disillusioned staff stooge in Office Space, "Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh [my boss] can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour...Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work." He's hardly worth mentioning.

Yes, I love my job. This weekend has had one good effect on me. It has inspired me. It makes me want to go back to school this fall so I can get my diploma and then get paid less than my car mechanic to do the same thing with a degree.