Monday, August 08, 2005

I'm Tooooo Sexy...

Not long ago I did a post on my Hot Or Not Pic. At that time I held a solid 9 out of 10. Then all of my loyal friends logged on and brought me down to a lowly 8. It has since started to recover back to 8.5. Also, whether due to this blog's exposure or just happenstance I got an e-mail from this gal (http://meetme.hotornot.com/r/?emid=S8OZNL) to meet her. I don't think I'm quite ready for it. I recomend you check out the link and see what kind of things she used as key words - YIKES!!! This is no joke, she really inquired of me.

Now ask yourselves this: Does Jared fit her criteria? This is all coppied and pasted from her profile, I made none of this up.

Qualities sought by skank-ho


  • doggie (style? lover? lover?)

  • feet (fetish?)

  • high heels (for him or her?)

  • muscles (again: for him or her?)

  • new york city (never been there)

  • no strings (as in Pinocchio, yes)

  • oral (I assume she means hygine, so yeah, that's ok)

  • tatoos (who didn't love that guy from "Fantasy Island"?)

  • MUCH OLDER FEMALE

  • LOOKING FOR A MUCH YOUNGER (ok, that I am, compared to her)

  • DESCTRETE (never mind)

  • ONCE IN A WHILE FRIEND (I've been called a "fairweather friend", that count?)

  • LIVES IN NYC

  • IS UNDER 30 (finally! Someone that thinks of me as young!!!)

  • APPRECIATES A FEMALE AND KNOWS HOW TOO SHOW IT (depends on the female)

  • MUST BE EITHER LEAN OR MUSCULAR (yeah, who'd say I'm not?)

  • and DESCRETE (oh, never mind)


You know, if she just wouldn't have asked for someone who is "descrete" twice I would have been a shoe in! I guess I'll just have to wait for the next super sexy and classy gal to get up the nerve to hit on me online...

13 comments:

Mellie said...

...And now for a comment that *isn't* spam..How many people are genuinely interested in ceiling concord fan fixtures??

PS. That picture of hers is kind of scary and unsettling, in a "photo taken by my husband who knows I'm going to put this online" kind of way..No wonder she wants someone discrete..Eww.

As for the super sexy classy girl hitting on you thing...So, come here often?? :P

Anonymous said...

Yikes is right!!!

Jared said...

Well, Mellie, not enough apparently...

Anonymous said...

Her photo is scary!!!!! Run Jared RUN!!!!!
Carl

Davey From The Block said...

Run Jared! Run!

-Dave

Shaleen said...

You can probably imagine how much I had to laugh. You so can get better. I agree with the others..."Run away! Run away!!"

Anonymous said...

I think you should date Shaleen!!!

Anonymous said...

Me thinks Allison is really Shaleen!!! Find an Opticians, then look again :P

E.Marie said...

AHHHH! Maybe there are somethings you shouldnt share with your friends.

Anonymous said...

Nope! Allison is really Allison! I doubt Shaleen would play a dumb game like that. I don't know her but that was so 6th grade!

Shaleen said...

No, I'm not Allison. C'mon now, ya'll should know me better. Allison's right, that's just childish. I'm more devious than that. ^_^ Ah well, it was very very funny coming back and seeing all of that. : p

Rossie said...

May I shudder please? Nasty. I can imagine a date with her...

"Hi, it's nice to meet you."
"LOL! Like, HI! SO, R U like, under 30?"
"Well, yes,"
"GR8! So I'm looking for a DESCTRETE fling - my husband doesn't like to like, share."
"How is it that you actually talk like a misspelled text message?"
"Wot? I didn't get that!"
"That's because I'm speaking English, not some pseudo-adolescent idiot code."
"Oh wow, R U from England?"

BH said...

Haha! Bravo, Rossie!