And that's about the time she walked away from me
nobody likes you when you're 23
and you still act like you're in Freshman year
what the hell is wrong with me?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again?
what's my age again?

Blink 182 - What's My Age Again?

That was kinda a theme for me last year. I used to think that 23 was old. My girlfriend of last year actually had to remind me of my age, I forgot it. I also used to wonder if my wife and I would have a child by then or decide to wait for a bit longer...I guess the answer was wait.
I think that in many ways I have reverted to a simpler mind. It's numb, but comforting.

When I was a kid my shoes would never last. They would be worn out in no time. Most kids would out grow shoes. I was too busy tearing them up. Yesterday, my only pair of good tennis shoes had a lace break on me. I did the same thing I used to, tie it up anyway and make an odd knot. My slippahs are all worn out and I still wear them, too. I actually have worn a hole in the sole of one, but I still play.

In Arizona I was a working professional with a real company. I drove my nice new car to work everyday. Now I am back to 17 where I know my mechanic, Mike, all to well. I actually say to him, "See you next week" everytime I go there. And it holds true. I like to use not having a car as an excuse for not dating, but just like high school and jr. high, they don't seem interested any more and those I do ask say no.

I used to blow off homework for no reason and spend time organizing my music to an anal extent. Last night I planned on doing homework but instead I just copied songs from my minidisc to my computer and organized the music. I did this till 2am and did absolutely no homework at all.

As a child, I had at least one scab at any given moment. Usually on my knees. I have been riding a friends longboard around and occasionally hit a rock. I have a gracefully fall/roll combo. I do end up with pretty scabs on my knees. I have a pair of jeans with holes in knees that help to show them off. I haven't worn pants like that since pre-mission days.

I brought my Game Cube with me to Hawaii. I played it maybe once all last semester. I have now played games a good solid 5-10 hours a week this semester.

I think that 23 was my plateau. I was up and up, then, rollercoaster back down; and the ride sucked. I don't know, but I think if my prime was 23 and it's all down hill from here, I'll be back in diapers before I have kids that are. My poor future wife will have 2 kids to change. I won't kiss her. I'll just punch her in the arm and run off. I had better success at that. If I go back to not brushing my teeth, I can lose them all and go back to mashed food. I don't think losing my hair is in my genes, but I was born with a full head of hair anyway.

I'm not sure I am 24 or 22 at this point. If my calculations are correct, I will be 18 again by 2008 and by 2014 12yrs old. In 2020 when I am six I will move back to Phoenix and play in my tree house, I'll be that crazy guy who no one bugs living in the park. When we reach Nov 2026 I'll be in a comfortable fetal position all day long. Getting older isn't that bad after all.

Over all, I actually miss 23. It was the best and worst year of my life. Dickens was on to something, it can make sense. By the end of 24 I'll get a grip on which way I really am going. I could be down one slope, but just about to hear that ratcheting of the coaster climbing the next hill.

It's been 23 years now
Trying to get by.
Other people make it day to day
I still wonder why...
God Lives Underwater - 23