I had the pleasure of peering into the life of my married friend. John and I have been best friends since elementary school. We both thought I'd beat him to the alter. Well, things don't always work out that way.
He is now married, living in a nice house, has two dogs and two cats and .5 children. Things are going swimmingly for him. Well, when his wife is happy, anyway.
When I was last over to his place we sat around shooting the breeze and talking about life and such. His wife came back from the store with some milk and other things. His house is well sound proofed and unless you really listen for it, you can't hear someone coming home. Just as we realized that she was home she storms into the house. John and I both in synchronization said, "Hi, Honey!" I don't have the hots for her, but I'm practicing for plural marriage reversed from the way we think of it today. My wife will appreciate the effort to see it from you point of view.
John's wife didn't seem to even hear us. Instead she puts down the milk carton and slams the other plastic bag of food on the counter while screaming at her husband. "You couldn't get up off of your f***ing a** and help me!? Let me just do it all my f***ing self! Uh!"
With this she started to beeline off toward the bedroom but not before she had the chance to take her sunglasses off and hurl them at the approaching John. He started to follow her in attempts at reconciliation but was meet by a slammed door. John looked at me and shrugged, "Well, if you ever get a pregnant wife this is what you have to look forward to." We had a quiet laugh about the whole thing knowing that we could do nothing else about it.
While sharing this experience with a female friend of mine she started to attack me for it. I don't see how it really involves me. She complained that I was not compassionate enough to the changing hormones of women. Perhaps she may be right. But then the conversation shifted and has now changed the focus of this post. Do women blame a lack of emotional control on pregnancy or periods?
See, I know that girls have hormones that we men don't understand. I can accept the fact that they make women emotional. I have bad days too. I even have learned that men have a form of a menstrual cycle that effects them emotionally too. The difference is that Women sometimes, it seems to me, use this excuse to blow their top.
How many times has this happened: a girl looses her temper at something and someone justifies it for her by saying, "Oh, well, she is just going through a visit from her Aunt Flow."? If she wasn't menstruating she would likely have similar emotions to the situation but she might just keep her cool because she has nothing to blame it on.
I had a friend of mine who used to be the boss of several women. Whenever they needed some time off they would explain to him that it was "a woman thing" and he had no recourse to stop them. Eventually he started to realize that they were having 2 to 3 "woman things" a month. He secretly kept a "flow chart" as he called it for 2 months until he had everybody's schedule down. When they would request time off for "special needs" he would check his flow chart and in no time that excuse was practically obliterated.
Women, look deep inside of you. When something makes you angry and it's that time again do you half justify your feelings by thinking to yourself that it is because of the calendar?
My argument is that we all have emotions. We all have bad and worse days. The whole purpose of being on this earth is so we can learn to control our bodies. There is never any excuse for loosing it, no matter how comforting it is to have a scapegoat. It may be harder some days or others, but we all are given power over our bodies and can maintain control if we try. "It's ok officer, I know I shot him and chopped him up into small pieces and served him to you as gumbo for six months, but I was menstruating when I did it. You understand right?" What jury in the world would convict her now? Those fried green tomato girls got away with it.
An excuse is nothing more than that, an excuse, regardless of what is going on inside. I know that pregnant women have strong emotions and will need special treatment. I know she might just start crying in the middle of the night for now apparent reason. I know that she may get angry at me for what I view as a molehill while it's a mountain to her. But the goal of control over our mortal bodies is our conquest. Excuses get us nowhere in life.
So, let's have it. Bash me as a chauvinistic pig. Say I'm insensitive. Remind me that this is why I am still single. Attack me on any personal level you wish. But ask yourself honestly if I really am all that wrong.
