Racial Identity...

Racial identity is a funny thing. In 2014 there was a study that found millions of American change their racial identity on occasions, particularly many hispanic individuals began reporting themselves as white. And we can't forget NAACP leader Rachel Dolezal who was quite genealogically white, yet identified as black (and fooled others to believe she was black for quite some time as well).

In our family, race is understandably a bit less...er, black and white. I guess you could say we put the "asian" in "caucasian." While I know that I am as white as sunscreen on cream cheese, I can't help but feel that we are a predominantly Asian family. My wife is Vietnamese, and our kids are 50/50, so we as a family unit are as caucasian as we are Asian. But in our family traditions, diet, and other ways we align with the Asian culture more than our neighbors. I still have difficulty keeping my shoes on when I visit the homes of friends.

What got me thinking about this subject today was something I observed in my three-year-old, Benji. Anna has been endeavoring to keep the apps on his hand-me-down iPad educational rather than solely for entertainment. So, when adding and inspecting an app for Benji, she chose an avatar for him. This app has a set number of choices. Anna chose the young asian boy avatar for Benji, since that is the closest approximation she could see.

Then later, I was watching Benji play with that app. He found the settings and when browsing the avatar choices, changed his likeness to a boy of the same age, but white. It was clear to me, that Benji currently sees himself more like that boy than the one Anna had selected for him. It's interesting to know how your children see themselves. I wonder if we had stayed in Guam with a more diverse culture if he would see himself more like the Asian avatar or still as the white one.

I have yet to ask Maia how she sees herself. I'm sure this is an issue that will come into play more as our children grow up.

Although I am spending time to blog about this, I don't really understand the big issue with racial identity. It used to frustrate me how much we hear about and debate on race issues in our media and culture, and now I'm just burned out on the subject.

I miss Guam in that way; we were all of a different (and often mixed) race. That consistent diversity kept us all feeling a bit more equal in a way. Sure we acknowledge cultural differences and would have some racial clicks, but our forced proximity and volume of diversity make the subject a non-issue. I remember someone visiting me at work one day and observing that I was the only white guy in my office. I hadn't even noticed it until that point. I was. And it didn't matter. And it was great.

Now back in the racially heated contiguous 48, I feel like there is no escape from the constant onslaught of these biases and issues.  I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone. It is the way it is. And I wish it could be different.

I wish we could all just see that we are all of some mixed-race of some kind and we all come from diverse backgrounds. At some point in our past we all share common ancestors. I would like to think we could keep that in mind when we interact with each other, but I'm not naive enough to think that will happen any time soon.

At any rate, my point is that this is all a matter of perspective. If we could be more empathetic and identify with some aspect of other ethnicities, we could be more understanding of each other. That's not to say I support the deception of Rachel Dolezal. We should also be true to who we really are. But if we could learn to identify with other races, in some way, we could let the little unintentional gafs go and start the healing.

I'm not an Asian, and no, I don't play one on TV. But after the experiences I've had over the past decade of my life, I can understand how one would start to feel as if their cultural, and even racial, identity can drift. Our little blended family can't even agree on our race. But we still do now and always will love each other for who we are. And that is enough.

Best Birth Control Scam Ever...

So, this week Anna came up to me and said she had a special Christmas gift for me. I could tell by her tone that I was not going to like it. She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me to read. Being a doctor's note, it was nearly illegible. I was able to make out one word: "intercourse." Anna helped fill in the blanks. Basically, Anna handed me a doctor's note excusing her from "intercourse." I guess the days of "I have a headache" are behind us. Now it's a proven medical necessity.

I instinctively laughed at first. Then it sunk in, this was real. Wait... real? Really real? Yes.

It turns out Anna had just had an injection of birth control. Due to the injections, she cannot have intercourse or she runs the risk of being pregnant. That's when this amazing dichotomy struck me.

"You mean to tell me, that you were just given birth control, to keep you from getting pregnant. But as a result of this birth control, you cannot have intercourse, or you run the risk of getting pregnant?" She confirmed.

It seems to me that any form of birth control that only works while you are abstinent is... genius! Why didn't I think of that? I should be out there selling this product. Any concerned parent of a high schools age child would be interested in this product, if it worked. It clearly has a market. After all, my wife jumped at the chance to get it. She was so excited by the prospect that she had the doctor change the note from, "no intercourse for 3 weeks" to "no intercourse for 4 weeks." Hmm....was that really necessary? So much for a romantic anniversary tonight...

It's A Boy...!

Today we had the official ultrasound for our new baby. Unlike Maia, this one was very helpful and liked to pose for photos. We've been hoping for a boy, and therefore calling the baby "him" or even by his soon-to-be nickname, "Benji" which will be short for Benjamin Warren Bodine. The ultrasound confirmed that he is indeed a he. 

Great profile shot. Thanks for posing, Benji! (Sorry you got your monther's nose.)

Yes, this is indeed a boy. It seems there is not much room for error.

Benji is due on Halloween, and this image shows he can be pretty scary looking when he wants to.

The good news: Anna made her own yogurt at home. The bad news: She used Maia's rectal thermometer to gauge the temperature...

I Just Got Done Milking My Wife...

I just got done milking my wife. Yeah, that was a phrase I never imagined myself expressing when I was young.

And before you criticize me for sharing a perfectly natural part of motherhood, remember that Anna read my blog before she married me. She knew what she was getting into...

Baby Blunders and a Liberating Day...

I've mentioned in past posts about Guam Liberation Day. It's a big holiday here, much more celebrated than the 4th of July. This is the day that American forces took back the island from the Japanese during WWII. I've only been on island for it once before, my first year here. And I know that some people didn't care for my new-to-Guam "haole" view of it. Well, to be fair, it was mostly gut reactions, partially inflammatory for the sake of being interesting to read and my own views have changed quite a bit since then. Being the first time in 4 years that I'd be on Guam for Liberation Day, I thought I would go. But...

It also is the day that Anna's mom chose to go home. Because I love to play to stereotypes, I've made all sorts of remarks regarding living with my mother-in-law. I am probably the only guy in the world that took his mother-in-law with him on his honeymoon to Maui. So when Anna's mom chose Liberation Day as the day to go back to Vietnam I joked with my acquaintances that it truly was "Liberation Day" in more ways than one.

We drove her to the airport this morning for a 5am flight. By the time we got home, we were too tired to sit at any parade. Maybe we'll see the celebration next year.

Maybe having a wife and baby has softened me some, but rather than continue my facade of unabashed funny man, I have to admit that she will be missed. Anna and I have been able to sleep through the night thanks to mother-in-law's willingness to stay up with Maia. And when I go to work all day, Anna has someone to speak to. It can get lonely at home with an infant all day. And mother-in-law is always ready to do laundry, dishes or cook a meal. But...

The critical funny man can't stay away for too long. Frankly, I'm glad babies are made of 90% rubber the first year. Because if not, I would be afraid to leave Maia alone with those two.

Anna's mom is an OBGYN in Vietnam. And she specialized in baby delivery. She is also a mother. So, naturally, you'd think that she would be a natural for taking care of a baby, right? Hm, maybe not. I wonder how Anna survived. Seeing Anna and her mom struggling to figure out diapers, I just sigh and walk away.

Early on I'd notice that Anna would just rock or put Maia down after a feeding. Her mom would often take Maia and hold her. I noticed that nowhere in the feeding process was anyone burping anyone. I had to explain to then that a burping should come with every feeding. It was odd being the one with the maternal instinct. That was when I first realized that maybe I should stick by just in case.

Anna is a first-time mother and only child. So, her exposure to children is very limited. And since Anna is an only child, her mom only scrapped by once. She just delivers babies, she doesn't take care of them afterward. I imagine her mom helped out a lot with Anna.

It took them both to bathe Maia. With mother-in-law gone, I assisted Anna today. While rinsing her up I asked Anna if she got Maia's armpits. Anna replied that she couldn't because she didn't want to bend her arm wrong. So, I reached in and suddenly skin was rolling off like dried rubber cement. Somehow, despite the two adults over a two month period of frequent washings, Maia had never once had her armpits cleaned. I will have to explain how joints work later.

Despite the regular minor infractions to child-rearing 101, I was a bit amused watching two of the three stooges at work. It almost reminded me of the Aborigines and the Coke bottle from "The Gods Must Be Crazy." Anna being topless all day helped solidify the comparison.

I did get a bit upset when I found out that Anna's mom thought Maia was thirsty, so fed her water rather than milk. Do I really need to explain this one? I later found out it was only a spoonful, but still.

I've now said enough to get Anna thoroughly mad at me. I should probably switch back to my maudlin, sentimental voice...

Anna's mom has come and gone. And despite it being Liberation Day, I know that with her absence, I am anything but liberated. All of the help and tireless assistance she offered has left with her. The stereotype demands that I don't get along with my mother-in-law, but I just have to buck tradition here. The language gap isn't what kept us from squabbling. Anna's mom is very giving. She is caring. She is thoughtful and friendly. And why would I expect anything else? After all, look at how great Anna turned out.

Now, how do I set up internet surveillance so I can keep an eye on Anna with the baby?

Looking Back on Pregnancy...

Now that the pregnancy is over I feel more safe sharing some things with you. Namely, the funny quotes and moments courtesy of maternal-minded Anna.

Sept - Anna grips the car armrest as we drive over a speed bump because she doesn't want to shake the baby too much.

Sept - "Do you remember the woman that you don't remember?"

Oct 13 - Anna cries for no reason during dinner. She admits that she even has no idea why.

Nov - I kiss anna as I tell her I love her. She runs to bathroom throwing up. When she's done I still love her anyway, she starts to throw up again.

Dec 4 - Anna first feels baby flutter in the womb. She isn't sure if its really baby moving or not. "Maybe I'm feeling things that I'm not feeling."

Jan 2010 - Anna to Jared: "You're funny, but not your sense of humor."

Jan 13 - Anna announces that she can no longer reach her toes, and therefore, need not clip her nails. (They are starting to shred our sheets.)

Feb 6 - Anna's belly is so big I have to push her up out of bed. She says she feels so large that she has a gravitaional pull. "When I move I can feel the universe moving with me."

Mar 3 - "How will I know when my water breaks?"

Apr 6 - When watching a breast feeding instructional video, "This is making me hungry."

I'm happy to report that postpartum Anna should be just as good a source of material. If she lets me live from this post, I'll give you more...

World, Meet Maia Lani Bodine...

Well, the waiting is over. The Stork has come at last. And according to Anna, at looong last.

The first thing I did is take copious amounts of pictures of Maia and send them to people via email, Twitter and Facebook using my cell phone. In my haste, I neglected to tell anyone the stats. Likewise you, my faithful reader, will have to read all the way through if you want that oddly gratifying sensation of hearing details of weight and labor time...

A lot has happened since my last post, obviously. Anna had a second baby shower at a friend's house. Good times.



After the two baby showers we had plenty of girl clothes. The baby had no choice at that point, she had to be a girl...or a boy that liked pink, to the point of nausea.

After these showers Anna went into "nesting mode" over time. She had washed all of Maia's clothes a few times just to make sure. The crib was up and decorated a few times over. Anna wanted to go all out and turn my manly cave/computer room to the baby room. I won that argument for the time being. I don't know how I managed to get the edge over a pregnant nesting woman, so I quietly walked out of the room backwards allowing anything else Anna wanted. I didn't want to stir the hornet's nest, as I'd pushed my fate and came out on top.

Anna's mom came on May 2 at 4am. She was stuck in customs for over an hour. My mother-in-law took English classes and learned how to fill out the customs forms. But when she was on the plane, they gave her a Japanese form. So, she sat with her luggage in Customs holding her illegible Japanese form just waiting for someone to figure out that she was lost. Had she been discarded luggage she would have been noticed and escorted out of the facility in 2 minutes flat. Perhaps next time we should have a sticker on her forehead that reads "Fragile" as she navigates the airport.



Since Anna's mom speaks no English, can't drive, and is staying with us in Yigo where there is nowhere to walk to, Anna had to take off work to babysit her mother until she could babysit the baby. A few days into her stay she noted that she'd been in Guam for some time and never seen the ocean. I took a day off to show her around.











The week of Anna's due date was hectic for me. I had Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles come to my office. We had a new chapel open up in Chuuk. I had to do some big annual fleet work. We had district conference which my calling of District Executive Secretary keep me involved. And I had to get everything ready for the baby.



Anna's due date came and went like passing gas in the wind. You think you catch a hint of something, but then it's gone.

We waited until Anna was 6 days overdue and scheduled induction for the 9th day past the due date (Monday, May 24). But late night May 23, Maia started to make her move. By midnight Anna was feeling intense contractions. They were still 10 or so minutes apart, so we just tried to sleep it off, which resulted in being waken up every 10 minutes. It's like sleeping with an alarm clock in snooze mode all night long. Only this alarm wakes you by noise and squeezing your hand so tight that your fingernails turn blue.

The morning finally came. We were planing on using a birthing center, but getting induced at the hospital. After calling both facilities we decided to skip induction and go natural. By noon the contractions were close enough and intense enough that we were admitted to the birthing center.

As soon as we checked in I plugged in my laptop, camera battery charger, set up my tripods and spare memory cards...oh, and I think Anna was around there somewhere. One strong contraction later there was no doubt that Anna was in the room.

We tried everything to get through the contractions. Bouncing on big exercise balls, leaning and swaying, walking, sitting, focal points, counting, and the obligatory "who who who heeee" thing.

By 3pm, Anna was about 5cm and her water broke. The baby was super low, so that pushing urge was strong. Anna had to fight it with every contraction. It got to the point where no one in the room could speak, move or even think too loudly. She needed total quiet and concentration just to keep from pushing. A warm bath helped to keep her calm while we waited for that darn cervix to open up. I recommended the jaws of life. No one seemed to get my joke. Note to self, birthing mothers and analytical midwives make a tough audience.

By 5pm her cervix was firmly planted at 8-9cm, which is at least one shy of where she should be. But with each contraction, Anna couldn't help but push a bit, and that was starting to cause swelling. After an hour of no improvement, the doctor decided to do something I didn't know was possible. She was going to allow Anna to push, and as the baby came, she would help tuck the cervix behind the head. I'm sure that was less than pleasant for Anna, the baby and the doctor. But it worked.

For half an hour Anna pushed with a fire and fury that I've only seen when I forget to leave the toilet seat down before I go to bed at night. I have to admit that I am very proud of Anna. The strength and control that she exhibited that night was like I've never seen before. You'd never know it to look at her, but she is a woman that can really take on any challenge and come out victorious.

After some tearing, blood and some other gross stuff I won't describe in detail, the baby, now to be known as Maia Lani Bodine, appeared at 6:43pm on the nose. This birthing center is big on the "golden hour" where baby goes straight to mom's chest and does not leave until the first feeding is complete.

I've seen plenty of birthing footage in biology class, Lamaze®, Discovery Chanel, and even my sisters' home videos. The blood and gross factor of what was happening really didn't phase me at all. And once the baby was out, and I looked at her, and my wife holding her, I was overcome with emotions. Visiting my sisters at the hospital a number of times before don't compare. It was truly a surreal moment for me. It's not often that I'm at a loss of words, but I really have no way to express the moment. I suppose it's one of those things that you can only know when you have been there yourself. And now I have.

I had some challenges calling both her family and mine due to a telecom fiasco (a whole 'nother story there). But after a quick call to my parents using a borrowed cell phone and uploading some quick cell phone pics, I got us all some food.

By the time I returned we had the stats that everybody wants to hear. She was a hefty 8.5 pounds and 21 inches long. That's big for a regular woman, but for someone with a frame like Anna that's like pulling an orange through a straw, only harder.



Before I knew it, it was after 11pm. Anna, my mother-in-law and I were all exhausted. We all slept at some point, but the details are as foggy as back stage at a Bob Marley festival.

The next morning I had to literally carry Anna to the bathroom. Use of her limbs is still slowly coming back. Mom and Baby had to continue to work out the breast feeding mechanics. This is something that you think of as natural and therefore, simple to do. We've perfected planes refueling in the air at hundreds of miles an hour, certainly breast feeding would be child's play in comparison. I've seen monkeys hurl dung at zoo patrons with more precision than Anna and Maia have been able to manage. Apparently, it's not always as simple as it would seem. I'm sure they will improve with practice.

After about 24 hours from birth, we washed up Anna, put a giant size diaper on her, bundled our Bundle of Joy into her car seat and headed to our happy home that was now truly housing a family.

You Can't Go Home Again, But Home Can Come To You...

Since I have left my childhood home for my mission, I hadn't spent more than a couple of years at the same home. On my mission I moved every couple months. I went home for just under two years before moving back to Hawaii to go to school. Then I moved every semester or two. After that I moved into an apartment. So, it's nice to finally have a home of my own that I plan to stay in for a while.

There's something nice about being the master of your castle. But at the same time, there's a lot of responsibility and work. I worked full time on the house when I first moved in. Then I started my new department at work and found all of my energy go in that direction. Then, I got some added help.

My parents made their first trip to Guam to visit Anna and me for Christmas and New Year's. It's always good to have family, but I was a bit worried that I wouldn't find enough things to do for the two weeks they planned on staying. Being in my first house and needing all the help I could get in home ownership the down time we would have had became occupied with home making chores.

There's a host of things planned for my parents for fun as well. So, rather than list them all here, I'll post them in pieces as they happened.

There's something odd about being the one who is hosting your parents at your house for the first time. It is like crossing an imaginary line. Up till now, when we talk about going home, we mean where we grew up. Now, we have completed the transition and home is where we are right now.

The Imu Turkey Thanksgiving Experiment...

This month has been a whirlwind for me. Pregnant wife, new house (and associated repairs), and new doubled work load. So I have been looking forward to this long 4-day weekend.

Anna and I teamed up with another couple from my office who are also away from their family, Joe and Lilian. Rather than do things the traditional way, we tried to imu the turkey. An imu is a low tech, underground pressure cooker. Imu is Hawaiian, but many islands cook this way calling it slightly different words, like umu. Typically, one associates imus with a big full pig and apple in the mouth. Really, you can cook anything in an imu.

We identified a location for the pit.



Someone had cooked some pigs in this hole six months ago, so it was easier to dig the pit. Anna and I grabbed some logs. There has been some bad rain lately, so this wood was only partly dry. We had some charcoal in the pit and Anna and I were carrying over our wood to the pit. Just then, the very second Joe lit the match to start the pit a burnin', it began to downpour like you wouldn't believe. By the time it was back to a drizzle, the pit was wet, the wood was soaked and we felt a bit timid with progressing.

We hid out by the car off and on during the drizzling moments.



When we finally got the fire going and the rocks as hot as we thought we could we put the turkey in and covered it with banana leaves and dirt.



Four hours later we came back to assess the level of our success.



Drum roll....NOPE. Wasn't done. We did get the turkey to as hot as 140 degrees F, but not quite enough to really cook it. So, with that we did the most American thing we could. We kept with the true Norman Rockwellian spirit of Thanksgiving and went to KFC. I hate to admit it, but it was actually quite tasty.

This could very well be the last year I try an imu turkey. We did finish our turkey in the oven. The imu did have a positive effect, too. That meat fell off the bone. Despite the half-and-half cooking, it was moist and tender.

Ok, so I may not be the big kahuna of island cooking. Still, I try. And we had a great thanksgiving anyway. In the end, the imu was just for fun, as is the any of the food. It's really about who you spend the day with. Being thousands of miles away from our respective families, it was nice to be with each other. I once told Anna the nice thing about our relationship is that wherever we move, as long as we have each other, we are with family. And that is what I'm truly thankful for.

Um, Am I Really 30....?

Ick, it's true. I'm 30! Since when did I get old enough to be 30? This may be the Pearl Anniversary, but I don't feel new and white.

I remember thinking how old 30 year olds were. And now that I am one I don't quite feel as old as I thought 30-somethings should. It's an odd feeling.

As a child, birthdays were always a big deal. Just like everyone else the day becomes less and less important as you realize it's closer and closer to decrepitation.

I recently took on a new department at work. I didn't change departments, I still do all the techie stuff, but also have absorbed the whole Materials Management department. As you can imagine, I've never felt more busy. So this year I didn't even see my birthday sneak up on me. But as surely as death and taxes, it did come.

Being born on Veteran's Day, I've never had to work or go to school on my birthday. It was as if the whole world remembered to pause and celebrate me... oh yeah, and veterans too, I guess. So you can imagine my disappointment when I found that my employer, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, does not take Veteran's Day off. Well those veterans have sacrificed enough already, the least I could do is take the day off and loaf around in remembrance. So I did.

After a small sleep-in session and breakfast, Anna and I went to see a movie. I didn't really care what movie. I don't get to see movies in the theater much so I was happy just to be there. We ended up seeing "Cirque Du Freaks: The Vampire's Assistant" which I have since discovered was NOT based on a true story.

Afterward we ate out for lunch. I went home, treated myself to paying for some new music downloads. Took a nap. Then I played some much neglected Nintendo Wii. Thanks to me, Mario has come one step closer to saving the galaxy. He hasn't even thanked me yet.

On our way to eat at a restaurant of our choice, Anna had me drive by some friends house, The DeLongs, to pick up a cake that was made for me. The plan was to pick up the cake and then take it home and eat it after dinner. Anna had asked the DeLongs to prepare a large Mexican food meal for me as a surprise. You can't find good Mexican food on Guam (at least, not that I've found yet), so it was a nice treat. After I gouged myself and crammed the little empty pockets of my stomach with homemade ice cream cake. Anna had to roll me out the door like Violet Beauregard in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, post blueberry desert.

I got home and loosened my pants before the buckle broke. As I got ready for bed I mused on the thought of being in my thirties. Hm, is "mused" the right word? Is there a word that means "mused" but also includes "dreaded", "regretted", "feared", disappointed", and "bewildered"? No? Well, let's just say that at my ripe old age, I should be glad I'm still coherent...

Preggers...!

Ok, so I've been very busy lately with the move, and Conference weekend, and a new church calling as the District Executive Secretary, and also a job change (more on that in a future post). But with all things going on in my life, I have to announce one more big change in my life.

Anna is pregnant!!!

When I told my sister, Lacey, she asked if the baby was mine. A fair question. So, yes, I am the father. But we are unsure if Anna is the mother... (Figure that one out)

I am super busy and I have oh-so-much I going on right now, so I don't have a lot of pics or videos ready to go. But, I can tell you Anna's due date is May 11, 2010. And yes, Anna has constant morning sickens.

Now that Anna is eating for two I can get away with gaining some sympathy weight, right?

The Price of Homeownership...

After years of saving our pennies we have finally decided we had enough to go for our first home. The housing market has joined the economy and taken a dip. President Hussein has a significant $8k tax credit for first time home buyers. With all of that combined, the time was right.

For a few weeks we've been searching through house listings and walking through house after house. My sister recently got a GREAT deal on a nice big home in Arizona for a rock bottom price. But in Guam, the housing market didn't take quite the same hit. Also, home prices are much higher over all. We were originally looking for a house under $150k. At that price, you'd get a small, one bathroom fixer-upper house. We had to raise our max price to $200k. For that, you get an OK starter home with about 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms.

So, after much consideration we found a home that we liked and were able to get it below the asking price for $180k. The main drawback to this home is location. Our current apartment is a short distance to everything; work, church, shopping, you name it. Our new house is in Yigo, a city at the north end of Guam near Anderson Air force Base. There are a few relatively close shopping centers, but otherwise it's a distance to drive every day.

The house has covered parking for 2 cars, a big plus and very unusual for Guam. Also, the exterior over all is pretty nice.







The inside is ok, but needs some work. This was once a smaller house with 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. The previous owner took out a wall making the old master bedroom a living room and they added on two bedrooms and 1 bath to the back of the house. A good move, but some aspects of the expansion were poorly executed. The window in the old bedroom, kitchen and even the bathroom face the expansion's hallway. And remnants of the removed wall are still there, most notably in the non-matching tile work.

Decent kitchen with window over sink overlooking the water heater in the utility area.

The bathrooms look ok, but the sleek looking pedestal style sink is ultimately less functional as you have nowhere to put your toothbrushes, shaving stuff, etc. I miss counter tops!

Probably my favorite feature of the house. When walking down the hallway, you can look into the bathroom and see what people are doing in there...

Of course, buying a home is not as easy as a car. If you like a 100k car, you can drive off the lot with it and let the paperwork follow. With a home it's an uphill battle to the bitter end.

After shopping around and finding the right bank with the best rate and lowest points (and learning what that meant) we felt the worst was behind. That was the beginning. We had to pay for a new appraisal. The appraisers found remnants of termites. We had to pay for pest control. The appraisers also found some moisture on the ceiling which they thought may have come from cracks in the concrete roof. (It was condensation. Once the A/C as on it was bone dry.) We had to pay for crack repair. And then, we had to pay for a structural engineer to certify the roof. The appraisers also had doubts about the setbacks. They felt some of the house may be too close to the property line. The house wasn't too close, but the last survey and sketch was done before the expansion. Although the expansion followed along the same lines as the existing house, the bank insisted we pay for a new site survey and sketch.

Just as we thought we were done, the appraiser noted last minute that he found a government easement on the front corner of our property. Although it is our land, the easement means the government reserves the right to take back that part at any time (it's a corner home). Our fence and gate cross into that easement. So, we had to have the fence removed, take pictures, have the appraiser finalize the paperwork and then put the fence back. In the meantime, I also was narrowing down the insurance company and jumping through the dozen hoops that bank requires - including the body cavity search.

It took a month from when we started the appraisal till it was signed and completed. If you ever want to know what it feels like literally bleed money, try what I've been doing. I wasn't just bleeding money, I was uncontrollably hemorrhaging cash. I almost wanted to apply a firm turnicate around my neck on more than one occasion. Luckily we had a GREAT Realtor and friend who helped us along the way. He was willing to take a reduction in commission and negotiated for a reduction in cost at closing to help offset the issues we had to pay for.

Just when the issues were ironed out our bank informed us there was a new law saying that we must wait 5 days from the completion of the appraisal until we can close. They waited 13 days.

And of course, during the process of this home purchase we had other challenges. Our apartment lease expired the last day of September. We should have closed and been in the home by then had things gone more smoothly. When it became apparent that we would not be in the home on time, we were fortunate enough to strike a deal with the seller to let us store our stuff in the house prior to closing.

I took off work to clean the apartment and get it ready for the move out inspection. On the 30th of September when I was to have my inspection a tropical storm hit Guam and closed down business. The management canceled my inspection. Their intention was to charge me extra for staying there extra time, even though I was out but they declined to come inspect the property. I struck an agreement that I would get the key back to them before they locked up the office for the storm. So, with much less time than I had budgeted, I had to clean like the bastard love child of Mr. Clean and Martha Stewart on steroids. Other people were boarding up their windows and buying supplies for the storm. I was washing windows and relocation my stuff to the trunk of my car. My neighbors thought I was crazy. I barely finished in time. I had to keep my utilities hooked up and pay for them until the inspection, so I called the landlords every day until they finally inspected my apartment.

Anna and have been living out of our luggage at a friends house for 3 weeks. We also survived a typhoon and tsunami warning while being homeless. (Hence the lack of blogging updates along the way.) But today, we finally have closed the deal. We are officially homeowners. This weekend we will spend our first night in OUR new home.

Me, Anna and our Realtor, Tom Clark on closing. The cobwebs have nothing to do with Halloween. That is a natural effect of the bank moving so slowly.

Even after all that we have gone through, I think it will all be worth it. And as challenging as the experience was, I have a feeling the unpacking will seem even more traumatic.

One of the coolest things about home ownership is the ability to point out a piece of land from space and say that that chunk of earth is yours and yours alone. Of all the people on all the earth, that spot on the planet solely belongs to you. Here is my little piece of the big picture.

Like Two Utensils In A Cupboard...

Everybody thinks they are unique - a snowflake of singularity. Truthfully, most people are just like so many, many others. Let's face it, if you've met one Canadian you've met them all.

But Anna and I are truly one of a kind. Each an individual yet a perfect compliment to the pairing and also unique as a couple. I've blogged earlier about some examples here, here, here and here.

Last night a further example came to light. Like most younger couples as they go to sleep, we hold each other close. Most would think of this as "spooning" like two spoons in a cupboard. That requires both to be in a half fetal position creating the spoon shape.

Where we differ is that we are less concave, almost flat. As we lay there talking Anna noted that we don't "spoon." I realized that we couldn't spoon. After all, she is Asian, so instead we "chopstick."

Now honestly, can you think of another pair that "chopsticks" nightly? I don't think we should stop there either. Every week we'll look through our kitchen shelves and pick new utensils to try on. The "egg beater" might be awkward but I am not looking forward to "cheese gradering."

Anna Turns 26...

In Vietnam a birthday is no big deal. Yes, they keep track of them and will wish you a happy birthday if they happen to know, but that's about the end of it. For me, a birthday has always been like a holiday dedicated to that person. When Anna and I began dating I expected much more from her on my birthday than she was prepared to give. I understand now that it was because that idea was foreign to her.

Since then Anna has caught onto the idea. And I always keep up birthday traditions for her even though she didn't really see a need for it. Last year, I may have overdone it. I took her to a small island south of Guam called Cocos and we went para sailing. I kept it a secret to heighten the experience. It never occurred to me that she would later expect me to match that.

Last week, a couple of days before her birthday the below conversation took place. She shocked me when she said she wanted a surprise activity.

Ngoc: ghosh, sometimes I like surprise
amazing what you can do to me

me: yeah, I'm confused. Usually you can't stand it when I try to do something secretive.
that's why I didn't plan anything this year.
i guess I have to now... :-o

Ngoc: no, all I need to know is what I am getting

me: dinner does not count?

Ngoc: no need go into detail. tell me when how where who whom why

me: oh, so when, whom, where and why are not details?

Well, I don't think I ever did compete with her expectations. We did have fun, though. On her birthday we went out to dinner at Tony Roma's. Following that we went over to our friend's house where we had high quality home made cake. Then on the weekend we had some other friends come over and eat dinner, share more cake (with candles and singing, of course) and played some Wii games.

No matter how good Anna's birthday was, one thing brought all the fun of birthday celebrations crashing down. She found a white hair on her head. She was already feeling old (even though she is only 26) but that white hair clinched it. It was just one hair and that will be the last one for a long time, but that came of little consolation to Anna. Needless to say, that hair was readily plucked.

The only thing I could try to make Anna feel younger was to remind her that I turn 30 this year. And then she was reminded that she is also married to an old man...

Well, happy birthday anyway. I think next year I will have to both surprise Anna and raise the bar. Can you sign someone up for plastic surgery without them knowing it...?

Easter 2009...

Just because you don't have kids does not mean you cannot have Easter fun. We didn't really do much, however. We stayed home all day. We watched conference in the morning and slept in the early afternoon.

When we got up we boiled 6 eggs and began to create. Well, ok, I have to admit that we were not very creative this year. It was very low on the creativity scale when compared to previous years. But we had fun.

The only problem with making these eggs is that Anna won't eat them. The coloring seeps through the shell and slightly colors the egg below. It has never bothered me, or anyone else that I know. But Anna just can't bring herself to eat them once they are stained. Which means for the next week or two, I have to be creative and find ways to eat hard boiled eggs. Are there others who go to all that effort to make eggs but won't eat them because of the color?

It may take extra work, but I try to make sure I use every egg we make. I don't want to end up doing what we did once in my childhood home. My parents hid candy and real hard boiled Easter eggs around the house. The kids then scoured the place looking for hidden goodies. We found them all, except the one behind the couch. We did later find it - the following year on Easter. I don't remember how we determined it was a year old, but I'm pretty sure it involved a very disappointed and disgusted kid expecting something else.

Our collection of simple Easter Eggs this year.

We bought a Shrek pack to make it easier for us to have nice looking eggs with minimal effort. Also, it was on sale last April for $1 and have been holding onto it for a year.

I make Shrek, Anna made the other two and she is very proud of her Fiona.

The left is a "school teacher" style. The center is, well, what it is. The right one is Anna's "Ocean View" featuring the sun, a dolphin, air balloon and sailboat; all on a different scale.

Anna's Momisms...

When I was a kid, my family's favorite subject of discussion were Momisms. These are usually quotes, sometimes actions, of our mom. The kind where you wonder what was going on in her head. Like the time we all were escorted to our van and my mom freaked out that the van carpet had been stolen. They didn't take the stereo or anything else, just the carpet. A few minutes later it was discovered that she just put us into someone else's van. Or one time my mom was reading the news about a girl that had been raped. One of my siblings asked my mom what was for dinner and without flinching she said, "Sex." We all assumed she was just thinking of the article and didn't actually mean that...well, we hoped at least.

I did a post about the freakishly similar attributes I notice between my wife and my mother a year ago. I still frequently think of new things. And I'm glad that even though I have moved out, I still get new Momisms through my wife. Her latest two had me laughing for days on end.

• We were driving home in the evening and as we passed a homeless guy with his shopping cart full of garbage Anna asks me, "Where do all the homeless people live?"
  
  
• It's the end of the day and we are getting ready for bed. I reach over to get some blanket coverage and Anna warns me, "Careful, my hand is full of fingers."

And just like my mom, if you ask them about the story or even just bring it up, they will tell their version of the story to explain what they really meant. Of course, this only makes it worse and in the end no one really cares what they meant. What they said was just too funny and must be shared with the world.

P.S. I love you, Anna. Don't hurt me for posting this. :)

The Eyes of the Beholder...

I think one of the things I liked best about Anna when we were dating is that she thought I was cute. I'll be the first to admit that I'm no Brad Pitt. So when a girl thinks I'm cute, she's a keeper.

But, alas, I gained weight once I got married and when you live with someone and see them first thing in the morning you really start to see the flaws. Anna's never been rude to me, but I think it's fair to say she has found me a bit less attractive than when we were dating. And I don't blame her. Anna on the other hand is still just as beautiful as the day we we met.

Something odd has been happening in the last month or so. Sometimes, just out of the blue, she'll look over at me and say, "Oh, you are just soo cute right now." It is truly sincere. I try to be coy but am secretly thrilled to hear it.

I have been using WiiFit a bit lately and have lost 15 lbs, but I doubt that's what changed. Rather than look a gift horse in the mouth, I tried to just happily accepted this. But, being the pessimist that I am, I couldn't let it sit. What is going on?

I finally and sadly figured it out. Also a month or so ago Anna has been complaining about her glasses. Her eye sight has been changing and her prescription glasses are insufficient now. She can't see anything further than 3 feet away clearly. And come to think of it, I have noticed she comments on my cuteness when I am across the room.

So now the quandary is whether or not to get her new glasses. I have a feeling that the "new and improved" Jared will disappear when the "new and acute" glasses appear.

*Sigh*

I think we'll have to get her new glasses. After all, she does drive. But we will have a new house rule. When Anna is home, she must wear her old glasses. Or better yet, none at all.

Chimmi-Chunkies and Mashidodos...

My wife has been encouraging me to blog more. And frankly, I have had problems with motivation. And when I do think of good things, I often forget them before I get a chance to blog. So, at the risk of getting to know my couch better, I'm going to blog about Anna. :)

I don't think I've gone one whole day with Anna where she hasn't made me laugh. Her humor is not like mine at all. She's funniest when she doesn't want to be. It's not that I'm laughing at her, but that she is just a funny person.

Since English is her second language, she sees the language in a new light. One of my favorite moments was when she wanted to say that something sucked, but she was confused on the syntax. "Man, those guys are suck."

When she wants to find a way to describe someone who is grumpy and easily agitated she will say they are being all "grumbly."

When we are going to eat a chimichanga its actually a "chimmi-chunkie." My sister, Lacey, has a thing in her house where they call mashed potatoes "mashidodos," which Anna and I have adopted.

Fortunately I am the one known living person to speak Annaiese, a rare Anna-based dialect. Had I not shared this insight with you, you would most certainly be lost in our home. Nowhere else would you hear a sentence like, "Honey, don't be all grumbly, but these chimmi-chunkies and mashidodos are suck." And no where else would you find someone that completely understands.

Christmas Near the Equator...

Being from Arizona, I'm not missing the lack of a white Christmas. But I do miss cold ones. Christmas without cold air is just not the same. But, I figured that I might as well make the most of this unique warm December climate.

About a week before Christmas I officially kicked off the season by scuba diving with Santa.

Scuba Santa

On Christmas day, Anna and I hit the water again with some friends. Our office just had a personnel change and a soon-to-be-retired man and his wife moved to Guam. It's just the two of them and Anna and I don't have family here, so we teamed up to go diving together. Well, Anna does not dive, so we had a half dive/half snorkel group. I had all my scuba gear on, so I went back and forth between the two. At the end I took Anna to a shallow 4 foot part and let Anna see what it was like to scuba. I'm thinking that it will be some time before Anna finds any compelling reason to actually dive. Oh well.

Having the day after Christmas off, I thought I'd continue my celebration of things you can't do in the mainland US on Christmas. I went GeoCaching. With a small group, we went to Sella Bay in the South of Guam. It was a full day as the hike was a few miles round trip.

The old Spanish Bridge

Beautiful Sella Bay

This picture was taken with a timer hung upside down from a tree limb. Hence the pine needles in the shot.

"I am so tired..."

We even went to a unique cache that you must wade waist deep to get to. The water was barely tepid.

Our Christmas tree is still up for now. And I have turned the air conditioner way down to simulate winter as much as possible. But I feel that I have made the most of this warm and green Christmas as possible.

Next year I'll be here in Guam still, and very possibly many more to come. With all the fun I've had and activities I've done there was one thing that made this Christmas as enjoyable as it was. I've made friends here, but without actual family, Christmas is just missing something. The nice thing about being married is that you have a family that you have made yourself. This Christmas was special because I got to spend time with Anna.

Anna kissing Santa Claus (and when I find him, I'll kill him)