Best Birth Control Scam Ever...

So, this week Anna came up to me and said she had a special Christmas gift for me. I could tell by her tone that I was not going to like it. She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me to read. Being a doctor's note, it was nearly illegible. I was able to make out one word: "intercourse." Anna helped fill in the blanks. Basically, Anna handed me a doctor's note excusing her from "intercourse." I guess the days of "I have a headache" are behind us. Now it's a proven medical necessity.

I instinctively laughed at first. Then it sunk in, this was real. Wait... real? Really real? Yes.

It turns out Anna had just had an injection of birth control. Due to the injections, she cannot have intercourse or she runs the risk of being pregnant. That's when this amazing dichotomy struck me.

"You mean to tell me, that you were just given birth control, to keep you from getting pregnant. But as a result of this birth control, you cannot have intercourse, or you run the risk of getting pregnant?" She confirmed.

It seems to me that any form of birth control that only works while you are abstinent is... genius! Why didn't I think of that? I should be out there selling this product. Any concerned parent of a high schools age child would be interested in this product, if it worked. It clearly has a market. After all, my wife jumped at the chance to get it. She was so excited by the prospect that she had the doctor change the note from, "no intercourse for 3 weeks" to "no intercourse for 4 weeks." Hmm....was that really necessary? So much for a romantic anniversary tonight...

The Sky Isn't Falling, The Sky Isn't Falling...

In case you were wondering, the world won't end Dec 21, 2012. And I'm a pretty good source of this knowledge, as I am in Guam, the other side of the dateline from most of the word, and therefore already in the future. Indeed, Dec 21, 2012 came and went already where I am, and we are still here. Once again, Future Jared to the rescue...