Sunday, October 30, 2005

G.I. Jared...

Halloween is on a Monday this year. It's almost as bad as Sunday. On Monday one can't have any activities on campus. It must be Family Home Evening or quiet sedation...or both. For that reason, we all celebrated Halloween this weekend instead.

I have a thing about Halloween costumes. I don't want just every day mediocre things. I want ones that people will remember. Sometimes, money and time dictate my costume more than I would like. Some day I would love to get together a good Batman suit together, but until I can get together a good enough one, I am just going to let it wait.

This year, my budget was the major issue. For the cost of three cans of paint and some cheap toys I managed to pull off one the best costumes I have ever had.

Jerrard. A black version of me.

El Zorro

Getting’ it on with Alexis
Some fat golfer dude


2005 Halloween - Hair and hands
Just after Carrera sprayed my hair and hands. I couldn't touch a thing for at least an hour.

2005 Halloween - Getting there
This one took a long time to put together.

2005 Halloween - The whole look
You have to admit, the final look is very effective.

2005 Halloween - With Mom Therese
I loved posing like an actual toy.

2005 Halloween - Friend posing with me.
Me with my skunk of a friend, Shem.

2005 Halloween - Missionary Encounter
Even killing machines need the gospel.

It took a very long shower and hours of scrubbing to get back to mostly normal. I am thinking that I should yet again dress up for Monday since it is Halloween and all, but I just don't know if I have the energy to do it all again. I'm sure that my friend Carrera (who did a very substantial part of the work to make this costume happen) would be even less willing to spend her time on my outfit.

What do I have in store for next year? I have a great idea but I am hesitant to say it for fear of it being stolen. Also, if I tell everyone then it will not be much of a surprise when I get around to making it. On the other hand, I know that I could very well forget it if I don't put it down.

Ok, I'll tell you, but you must promise to NEVER seal my idea. I want to buy one of those outfits that dancers wear that is flesh toned; making you think the guy is naked. Then I want to cut out a circle from a shower door. The kind that is sort of see through, but you can't see anything clearly through it. I will hang it around my waste and cover up area. It will be a guy who is naked, but centered. I have a feeling I'd get actually censored if I tried that one on this campus, so it will have to wait till after I graduate. But maybe I will not wait and do it for my graduation Now THAT is something that everyone will remember and no one will copy.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Topic Of Debate...

I have been flattered. Granted, it takes very little to do that. I love a good ego boost. Even meager ones make me happy.

This last one started weeks ago. It turns out content on my site has been the focus of a debate. I got an e-mail from a guy saying:
recently i came across your web site. its a pretty nice web page ^.^

although the way i DID come across it isnt such a nice storie...

someone on a forum i am on submitted one of your photos from your halloween
04 pic's
and was pretending it was them... so i was wondeirng if you would be able to
surply me with some info about the pic to help out on a small little flame
war on that forum :)

the photo is Goth Kelsey.JPG

the thing that gave away wasnt them is the fact that lcaimed the photo was
taken about a week ago and the person who posted it on there is from the
UK... looking at your profile it says your from the US?

thank you for your time

- Skrabrug

The picture in question is found here and looks like this:

Goth Kelsey

Goth Kelsey

I replied and just today found the forum on which the whole thing happened.

be happy i took that picture yesterday

eheheheheheheheheheh. Your face is so funny. Thanks.

*falls out of his chair with laughter*
attention attention that photo is a perfect example of a babyhieb...

Now this is just a guess but i'm thinking the lights were out when you attempted the

She's pretty and has potential but the make-up... No, i'll stop. I'm a man and *I* do my makeup better.

actuly not being mean (for once) i honestly dont think she is attractive in any way shape or form... the make up just makes me laugh.

That's not being mean?

He could've said "Shes so ugly, she looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every f**king branch on the way down. Then she got tied to the ugly donkey who ran through the ugly forest, smacking her face on every ugly tree she passes."
See? I don't think she's ugly, but she ain't all that. I mean, she's hardly
purplenewrocks is she?

a message to sexypartygirl
o.k. this is waaaaaaaay to funny...
im haveing problems not laughing...
does the name "Jared Bodine" ring a bell at all???
how about this "Index of /jb464/boo-yeah"
o.k. now here is where it gets intresting "30-Oct-2004" the day that photo was taken you submitted... oh what do you know it wasnt taken "yesterday" of any day in this about the time "10:44" which was the time that pic was uploaded onto the net for the first time???
even more funny... that pic was taken at "Laie : Hawaii : United States"
Next time you submit a bullsh*t pic of someone and then start pretending its you... make sure its not on the same forum as me...

Jared Bodine was the guy who took that photo....
in anotehr thread didnt sexypartygirl say she was form the UK... or her "freind" said
they were "both" from the UK?
Jared Bodine had the following to say:
"Thanks for the extra ping to my site!
The girl in the pic lives here in Hawaii where I do. I doubt she has ever been to Europe. The pic was taken by me at a Halloween party on Oct. 31, 2004 here in Hawaii.
That enough fodder for your fire? Good luck!"
is this where i get given a cookie now?

Sorry Kelsey, I guess the masses didn't like your goth outfit. Let's see if you can make a costume this halloween that makes even more waves!

Anyway, that was my excitement for the day. Are you not proud of me? Well, even if you aren't, please stroke my ego anyway. You know that I will just eat it up!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Ding Dong The Week Is Done...

...Which old week? The wicked week! Ding Dong, the wicked week is done!

This last series of about 10 days or so have been very intense and busy. Hence no posts. I apologize for the drought. During the past week I had some close shaves.

One night I was working until late. I had a midterm that I needed to take right after work. The testing center closes at 11pm and won't let you in past 10:30. I was supposed to get off of work at about 9. One person after another kept coming in with computer problems and such. Finally, I finished everything I was doing and started to head home with some friends. One of my friends says to the other, "So, do you want to get together and study for that midterm?"

My mind made a connection. "Midterm. Midterm...why does that sound familiar...Oh-my-gosh-I'm-supposed-

I checked my watch. It was 10:28. I had no time to waste. I grabbed my backpack and sprinted to the testing center. I was in such a rush I didn't slow down to put my backpack on, I just kept running.

I dashed into the door and threw my wallet at the employee so he could find my ID and get me started on the test. As I threw my backpack down and grabbed a pen the guy casually looks at me, then my ID, then the clock. In a very nonchalant way he says, "Hm. Thirty seconds to spare. Not bad."

I got my test. The guy looks at me in a serious manner and informs me that the teacher expects the test to take about two hours. I had less than half an hour left until the testing center closed.

I wrote like no man has written before. I was literally writing on my test still as I was handing it in to the test proctor. Two other girls in my class were walking out with me. They were talking about how long they spent on the test. One took two hours. The other two and an half. Then they asked me. I looked at my watch. "Uh, about...twenty eight minutes..." Their jaws dropped. They must have thought I was a god.

I still don't know what my grade will be, so hold your applause.

The day before I did an entire five page research paper. Ya, just one day. Less actually. I was talking with Anna who is in the same class. She asked me how my paper was going. "What paper?" That's never a good question.

I found out about noon. The day before the paper was due. That gave me almost 24 hours exactly in which to do it. I also had work that night until midnight, so things were complicated.

On my break, I went to the library and got my resources. After work I went home and read my resources and annotated my bibliography until about 2:30am. I woke up at 8am to resume. I didn't stop to eat, shower, or pass gas. I had work to do.

I typed my last period at about noon. I had less than half an hour to get to school, print my paper and hand it in. I walked into my classroom at 12:30 sharp. It was very good paper if I do say so myself.

Long story shot (I know, too late), my hell week is mostly over and now I can start to actually enjoy the jubilee events on campus.

Oh, one more thing. One night, to keep myself from going insane, I took a break and checked out a site where I can submit a picture of me and it will tell me what I will look like in the future. I submitted a picture taken when I was 13. Here are some good results:

10 years from 13 - my 23rd b day.

This is what I was supposed to look like two years ago. I guess not that far off, except the braces have long since been gone.

13 Going on 30

I don't know how I got from that top pic to this in only 20 years! Yes, this is what I should look like 30 years from my 13 year old mug. That's a scare that Jennifer Garner in 13 Going In 30 would not have been prepared for...


If I were to have had a sex change at age 13, this would be me. Not very pretty, huh? Come to think of it...I look like a mix of my three sisters...

Monday, October 10, 2005

Feminists Dogma Update...

By popular demand I am supplementing information regarding my gender studies class and offering an update.

At one time I was looking forward to this class. Now, I look forward to the teacher evaluation and on toward graduation from these ridiculous courses.

This class went from "Comm 280: Communication and Gender Studies" to "Comm 280: Battered women of the world unite".

What has had me the most frustrated lately is the tripe* our teacher fed us recently about the horrors of our all male-dominated language. To show you what ridiculous thoughts I am referring to, I will highlight some of my favorite assaying sentiments presented by the author.

First and foremost we have a real gem, the feminist dictionary:
"In 1988, Kramare and Paula Treichler compiled a feminist dictionary that offers definitions for women's words that don't appear in Webster's New International and also presents alternative feminine readings of words that do.

"Parenthood: A condition which often brings dramatic changes to new mothers - 'loss of job, income, and status; severing of networks and social contacts; and adjustments to being a "housewife." Most new fathers do not report similar social dislocations.'"

(Oh, real great. Now these feminists are going beyond marriages and are trying to break up families by stopping them from being made. In my opinion, parenthood is nothing to scoff so casually. It may be taxing on the mother, I am not discounting that, but it changes EVERYBODY's life. It's called life.)

"Feminist: 'I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.'"

(So those are the only two choices? Feminist or doormat? Does this blog post make me a doormat for not being a feminist or feminist for not being a doormat?)

"Depression: A psychiatric label that...hides the social fact of the housewife's loneliness, low self-esteem, and work dissatisfaction."

(This sound more like something a "chauvinistic pig" would write. Is this to mean that clinical depression is not real but made up? Not only are there unfortunate depressed people out there but this author now tells them that they are also lonely and have a low self-esteem. Ya, nice way to rally up the troops, ladies.)

The same article goes on to say that the reason why men and women don't understand each other has nothing to do with misunderstandings or differences that come with being of different sexes. Rather, "when men don't have a clue about what women want, think or feel, it's because they haven't made the effort to find out."

To an extent this may be true. But I can tell you loads of stories where even my best efforts to understand the fairer sex has been thwarted for unknown reasons. I think my buddy Shem and even some female friends of mine would have to agree with me on this point: Sometimes there is no amount of effort in the world that can help men understand the complexities of womanhood.

The author goes on with the assumption of being perfectly correct and offers "further interpretation of men's ignorance."

"The crucial issue here is that if women cease to be muted, men cease to be so dominant and to some males this may seem unfair because it represents a loss of rights."

(*heavy on the sarcasm*) Wow, great! How does the author know me so well? When I call my sister every week to talk I never let her get a word in. You see, I'm afraid that if she speaks to me and I listen than I am placing my tail between my legs. It is a violation of my rights to listen to women. I also don't think that women should have the right to vote because their right to do so limits my ability to do the same. That author sure got my number!

So it is clearly the fault of men, and men alone, when they do not understand women. Is the same of the reciprocal? Are women to blame for not understanding men? Of course not!

Women are said to not have the capability to communicate in this world due to the language that men have made. The author refers to "mainstream communication as 'malestream' expression."

So what are the poor defenseless women to do? "' order to participate in society women must transform their own models in terms of the received male system of expression.' Like speaking in a second language, this translation process requires constant effort and usually leaves a woman wondering whether she's said it 'just right.' One woman write says men can 'tell it straight.' Women have to 'tell it slant.'"

Tell it slant!? It's the slant talk that confuses men. Why can't a woman tell it straight too? I'd rather have the honest emotions compared to this "second language" the author proposes that women speak. It sounds to me like this author is only perpetuating the existent problems further.

Rather than offer a solution to these problems it is presented as a lost hope: "'Women have had to work through the system organized by men.' For women with less skill and self-confidence...that prospect can be daunting."

Again, the poor woman with less skill and self-confidence who is not just depressed but also lonely and battered with a low self-esteem. She can't cope in this world! She has no voice!

Crying victim seems to a common drum beat upon.

I dare say that getting around with "less skill and self-confidence" would be a prospect that could be daunting for a man as well as a woman.

As fun as this article has been, I just can't wait until I get strapped into a chair, my eyes pulled open and am forced to watch Thelma and Louise 24 hours a day while the water drops into my drying peepers will be my only source of nourishment. I believe they call that class "Comm 380: Advanced Gender Communications".

To the astonishment of many, the author, although constantly quoting female feminist authors, was actually a man (at least at the time of birth).

Likely, he took Comm 380 prior to the compilation of this masterpiece.

* = E.M. Griffen "The Muted Group Theory of Cheris Kramare". A First Look At Communication Theory. New York: McGraw Hill. 1997

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Popcorn On The Cob...

I have found something very cool that I just had to share with you, my faithful reader. I call it "Popcorn on the cob". I don't know where one can find it, but I happend to stumble upon some just last week for free. Check it out:

Popcorn on the cob

You'd be suprised at how many people can't figure out what this is.

Popcorn on the cob popped
Popcorn on the cob eaten

It's not as tasty as Orville Redenbacher, but it's way cooler!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


As of right now, I am 2-0! Of the two articles I have submitted to the Ke Alaka'i I have been printed twice.

Article two - Business core

Second printed article in The Ke Alaka'i

The first article was front cover and above the fold. This time, I was demoted to page 4. However, I got half a page this time. No matter how you slice it, I find it a compliment.

Now if only I could get paid for this stuff...

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Scheduled Maintenance...

"Great faith has a short shelf life."
- Henry B. Eyring from the 175th Semiannual General Conference of the LDS Church (Oct 1, 2005

It's always interesting to note how the ebb and flow of faith works. I have been in quite a rut lately. I have seen the great faith of my mission days come and go frequently as the tide.

I suppose it's time for a refresher. Jared Bodine will be under construction for the next few weeks for scheduled maintenance.