Family Superlatives....

Out of the blue the other day, Benji says to me, "Dad, I'm stupendous."

"Really? You are? How do you know?"

"I just am," he replies matter-of-factly.

"Ok," I pursue, "so if you are stupendous, what am I?"

"Hm," he thinks for a second. "You are just normal."

"Oh, so what about Maia? Is she stupendous, too."

"No," he declares with authority. "She is fantastic."

"I see. So you are stupendous, Maia is fantastic and I am 'just normal'."

"Yeah."

"What about Mommy? What is she?"

For this one he takes a long time to consider his options. "She is... stinky balls!"

Honestly, I have no idea where he gets this stuff, but just for the sake of those who are keeping track, here's the breakdown:

Benji = stupendous
Maia = fantastic
Dad = just normal
Mom = stinky balls

Noted...

Racial Identity...

Racial identity is a funny thing. In 2014 there was a study that found millions of American change their racial identity on occasions, particularly many hispanic individuals began reporting themselves as white. And we can't forget NAACP leader Rachel Dolezal who was quite genealogically white, yet identified as black (and fooled others to believe she was black for quite some time as well).

In our family, race is understandably a bit less...er, black and white. I guess you could say we put the "asian" in "caucasian." While I know that I am as white as sunscreen on cream cheese, I can't help but feel that we are a predominantly Asian family. My wife is Vietnamese, and our kids are 50/50, so we as a family unit are as caucasian as we are Asian. But in our family traditions, diet, and other ways we align with the Asian culture more than our neighbors. I still have difficulty keeping my shoes on when I visit the homes of friends.

What got me thinking about this subject today was something I observed in my three-year-old, Benji. Anna has been endeavoring to keep the apps on his hand-me-down iPad educational rather than solely for entertainment. So, when adding and inspecting an app for Benji, she chose an avatar for him. This app has a set number of choices. Anna chose the young asian boy avatar for Benji, since that is the closest approximation she could see.

Then later, I was watching Benji play with that app. He found the settings and when browsing the avatar choices, changed his likeness to a boy of the same age, but white. It was clear to me, that Benji currently sees himself more like that boy than the one Anna had selected for him. It's interesting to know how your children see themselves. I wonder if we had stayed in Guam with a more diverse culture if he would see himself more like the Asian avatar or still as the white one.

I have yet to ask Maia how she sees herself. I'm sure this is an issue that will come into play more as our children grow up.

Although I am spending time to blog about this, I don't really understand the big issue with racial identity. It used to frustrate me how much we hear about and debate on race issues in our media and culture, and now I'm just burned out on the subject.

I miss Guam in that way; we were all of a different (and often mixed) race. That consistent diversity kept us all feeling a bit more equal in a way. Sure we acknowledge cultural differences and would have some racial clicks, but our forced proximity and volume of diversity make the subject a non-issue. I remember someone visiting me at work one day and observing that I was the only white guy in my office. I hadn't even noticed it until that point. I was. And it didn't matter. And it was great.

Now back in the racially heated contiguous 48, I feel like there is no escape from the constant onslaught of these biases and issues.  I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone. It is the way it is. And I wish it could be different.

I wish we could all just see that we are all of some mixed-race of some kind and we all come from diverse backgrounds. At some point in our past we all share common ancestors. I would like to think we could keep that in mind when we interact with each other, but I'm not naive enough to think that will happen any time soon.

At any rate, my point is that this is all a matter of perspective. If we could be more empathetic and identify with some aspect of other ethnicities, we could be more understanding of each other. That's not to say I support the deception of Rachel Dolezal. We should also be true to who we really are. But if we could learn to identify with other races, in some way, we could let the little unintentional gafs go and start the healing.

I'm not an Asian, and no, I don't play one on TV. But after the experiences I've had over the past decade of my life, I can understand how one would start to feel as if their cultural, and even racial, identity can drift. Our little blended family can't even agree on our race. But we still do now and always will love each other for who we are. And that is enough.

"I Want My Dirty Dirty Diaper..."

Kids never cease to amaze parents. Here's an example from our recent trip to Japan. While there, Benji decided he could no longer be saddled with clean diapers. It's sort of like how you become attached to those favorite blue jeans way after they are worn out...



Next time, I will be wearing a diaper, too. That way I can give him my leftover dirty dirty diaper...

Halloween 2013...

Maia as Snow White

Anna as Little Red Riding Hood and Benji as The Big Bad Wolf

Three's a Company, Four's a Full House...

Today, we had a new edition to our family. We have been anxiously awaiting this little bundle for a while. My hope was for a Halloween baby, but it wasn't in the cards. Instead, Benji decided to be punctual and arrive exactly on his due date, something that I hear is only done about 5% of the time.

We knew the time was at hand about 10pm on Nov 3. All night, Anna had very long, frequent and painful contractions. We slept off and on until about 2am when we gave up and knew it was time to call the birthing center. At the advice of the birthing center, we stopped by a 24 hour grocery market to get some snacks and Gatorade.

Once we were in our room, much to Anna's chagrin, I started setting up my cameras, tripods and computer equipment. But, at Anna's request, I left the 3D camera in the car. 

By 6am, it was time for the real final stretch. Poor Anna hadn't slept well for 2 days, so she was totally exhausted. It was a long haul for the last couple hours. Before long, Anna was pleading for a C-section, not that anyone could blame her. However, by 9:03am, Benjamin Warren Bodine was signed sealed and delivered! 

Benji's first picture... (...out of the womb.)

Mom gets some bonding time seconds after the birth.

As soon as Benji was out, everybody in the room was in awe at his size. Some of the staff guessed he was nearly 9 lbs. And for a small girl like Anna, that's even more amazing. 

Birth is not just exhausting for mommy...

First grooming.

After some cleaning and protocol, we found the final stats.

Weight: 9lb 2oz. Length: 21.5 inches. This is a big kid!

We spent the next 24 hours in the birthing center recovering and bonding. When we came home, our 2 1/2 year old, Maia, was still taking her nap. When she woke up, I came into her room, told her we had a special surprise for her. We walk over to the crib and on first sight Maia giggles. "Baby Benji! Hi!" And she blows him a kiss. Off to a good start. That affection will wain once she realizes how much attention mom gives him.

So, we are now a family of 4. I tease Anna that we need to have another 11 boys, to make it a dozen. This pregnancy was pretty hard on Anna and she's feeling done. Truthfully, I'm content. We have a great full family and couldn't ask for more.

It's A Boy...!

Today we had the official ultrasound for our new baby. Unlike Maia, this one was very helpful and liked to pose for photos. We've been hoping for a boy, and therefore calling the baby "him" or even by his soon-to-be nickname, "Benji" which will be short for Benjamin Warren Bodine. The ultrasound confirmed that he is indeed a he. 

Great profile shot. Thanks for posing, Benji! (Sorry you got your monther's nose.)

Yes, this is indeed a boy. It seems there is not much room for error.

Benji is due on Halloween, and this image shows he can be pretty scary looking when he wants to.