Family Superlatives....

Out of the blue the other day, Benji says to me, "Dad, I'm stupendous."

"Really? You are? How do you know?"

"I just am," he replies matter-of-factly.

"Ok," I pursue, "so if you are stupendous, what am I?"

"Hm," he thinks for a second. "You are just normal."

"Oh, so what about Maia? Is she stupendous, too."

"No," he declares with authority. "She is fantastic."

"I see. So you are stupendous, Maia is fantastic and I am 'just normal'."

"Yeah."

"What about Mommy? What is she?"

For this one he takes a long time to consider his options. "She is... stinky balls!"

Honestly, I have no idea where he gets this stuff, but just for the sake of those who are keeping track, here's the breakdown:

Benji = stupendous
Maia = fantastic
Dad = just normal
Mom = stinky balls

Noted...

Racial Identity...

Racial identity is a funny thing. In 2014 there was a study that found millions of American change their racial identity on occasions, particularly many hispanic individuals began reporting themselves as white. And we can't forget NAACP leader Rachel Dolezal who was quite genealogically white, yet identified as black (and fooled others to believe she was black for quite some time as well).

In our family, race is understandably a bit less...er, black and white. I guess you could say we put the "asian" in "caucasian." While I know that I am as white as sunscreen on cream cheese, I can't help but feel that we are a predominantly Asian family. My wife is Vietnamese, and our kids are 50/50, so we as a family unit are as caucasian as we are Asian. But in our family traditions, diet, and other ways we align with the Asian culture more than our neighbors. I still have difficulty keeping my shoes on when I visit the homes of friends.

What got me thinking about this subject today was something I observed in my three-year-old, Benji. Anna has been endeavoring to keep the apps on his hand-me-down iPad educational rather than solely for entertainment. So, when adding and inspecting an app for Benji, she chose an avatar for him. This app has a set number of choices. Anna chose the young asian boy avatar for Benji, since that is the closest approximation she could see.

Then later, I was watching Benji play with that app. He found the settings and when browsing the avatar choices, changed his likeness to a boy of the same age, but white. It was clear to me, that Benji currently sees himself more like that boy than the one Anna had selected for him. It's interesting to know how your children see themselves. I wonder if we had stayed in Guam with a more diverse culture if he would see himself more like the Asian avatar or still as the white one.

I have yet to ask Maia how she sees herself. I'm sure this is an issue that will come into play more as our children grow up.

Although I am spending time to blog about this, I don't really understand the big issue with racial identity. It used to frustrate me how much we hear about and debate on race issues in our media and culture, and now I'm just burned out on the subject.

I miss Guam in that way; we were all of a different (and often mixed) race. That consistent diversity kept us all feeling a bit more equal in a way. Sure we acknowledge cultural differences and would have some racial clicks, but our forced proximity and volume of diversity make the subject a non-issue. I remember someone visiting me at work one day and observing that I was the only white guy in my office. I hadn't even noticed it until that point. I was. And it didn't matter. And it was great.

Now back in the racially heated contiguous 48, I feel like there is no escape from the constant onslaught of these biases and issues.  I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone. It is the way it is. And I wish it could be different.

I wish we could all just see that we are all of some mixed-race of some kind and we all come from diverse backgrounds. At some point in our past we all share common ancestors. I would like to think we could keep that in mind when we interact with each other, but I'm not naive enough to think that will happen any time soon.

At any rate, my point is that this is all a matter of perspective. If we could be more empathetic and identify with some aspect of other ethnicities, we could be more understanding of each other. That's not to say I support the deception of Rachel Dolezal. We should also be true to who we really are. But if we could learn to identify with other races, in some way, we could let the little unintentional gafs go and start the healing.

I'm not an Asian, and no, I don't play one on TV. But after the experiences I've had over the past decade of my life, I can understand how one would start to feel as if their cultural, and even racial, identity can drift. Our little blended family can't even agree on our race. But we still do now and always will love each other for who we are. And that is enough.

"A" For Effort, "F" for Flour

Today Anna tried a flour-free pancake recipe. In case you were wondering, flour is very much an essential ingredient to a good pancake...

Halloween 2013...

Maia as Snow White

Anna as Little Red Riding Hood and Benji as The Big Bad Wolf

The good news: Anna made her own yogurt at home. The bad news: She used Maia's rectal thermometer to gauge the temperature...

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Regurgitated (aka Payback is a B...aby)...

Poor baby Maia is sick. Despite the odds, she's barely been sick at all in her first year. She's trying to make up for lost time now. Last night she was having trouble sleeping, likely due to the fever and stuffy nose. So we took her onto our bed for a short time.

While crawling around and just as she was half over me, she had a hiccup, which then accompanied a fountain of partially digested baby food spewing forth from her mouth. I thought the stuff was nasty looking before she ate it. To be fair to Maia, I should have seen it coming. When her head did a full 360 degree turn I had my first warning.

The vomit not only landed on me, but also all over my side of the bed. Somehow, inexplicably, my parents 6 thousand miles away started laughing uncontrollably. Naturally, Anna's side of the bed was as pristine as a showroom display.

Tonight her fever has continued. As we put her down for bed, we thought we might fare better this time. She stood up in her crib and starting bawling. We usually give her a few minutes to cry so she can calm down on her own and go to sleep. But we could tell from this cry it wasn't going to be one of those passing sobs. Anna walking in to check on her and found that she had left a projectile war path of sputum. It was all over her chest, the floor, her crib, toys, dresser and I believe the ceiling. It looked as if someone had hooked her up to one of those garden hose toys that randomly shoots out in all directions.

Anna and I tried to clean the mess before contacting an old priest and young priest who were familiar with exorcism. I got the fun task of hand washing the sick off the linen before we put it into the washing machine. I nearly added more of my own in the process.

I know I donated my fair share of throw-up when I was a child. And I know that I wasn't the one that cleaned it up. So, I suppose its only fair that I am now on the other side. I was just thinking the other day that being a father isn't so bad. But after tonight I found myself thinking that I don't want to be a dad right now. My parents would have gotten a kick out of seeing me deal with this tonight.

These moments pass and before I know it, I'll be reading Maia's blog one day about how she is cleaning up her first child's vomit...

How did this topic get me onto The Circle of Life?

Christmas 2010...

Now that all the dust (and snow) has settled from my hectic Christmas trip, it's time to blog all about it.

The worst part about living in Guam is how inconvenient it is to visit anywhere but the Philippines, Japan or Chuuk. This trip to Arizona would take 24 hours from our house to my parents'. We've never traveled with a baby before, so we were unsure of how the trip would fare.




Maia was remarkably well behaved the whole time. I'd be spoiled if I complained about her during this trip. I've seen people with kids on planes before. Heads spinning, crawling on the celling, opening the windows, riding on the wings... This was much better than I'd expected. I even discovered that the tray tables on the seat in front of you make great makeshift beds. But I recommend you remove the baby before you are served the culinary experiment they call an "in-flight service."

We were only at my parents' house for a couple days before we headed north to visit my Grandma on my mom's side. It will likely be Maia's only chance to meet her. Then, back to Mesa. We visited the Mesa Temple to see the lights.





Then we met up and head north to a cabin. By "we" I mean the whole family. My parents, all my siblings, all their children, casual acquaintances, well-wishers, and we may have even picked up some transients along the way. My mom's excitement was at the boiling point as this was the first time we had all of us together at once in over a decade. We had to take a census just to make sure everyone made it to the cabin.

This cabin was reserved online, so none of us knew what to expect. We were pleasantly surprised. With about 10 bedrooms and plenty of living space, we all fit in much better than anticipated. Having a large kitchen was a necessity due to the amount of food my mom brought. We had enough food to nourish an entire battleship crew at sea for a month.

What I was most looking forward to on this trip was finally feeling cold. Living in Hawaii for several years and now in Guam for 5 years, I miss having my winters. There was some snow, but nothing to blog about...excepting that I'm currently blogging about it...

Me, Maia, Anna, Kris (brother), Sarah (his baby) and Jam (his wife) out for a walk in the snow.

A short drive away there was enough snow to do some sledding. We spent plenty of time there. I bet you expect great footage of this from me. Well, not so much. But I got one cool pic.



At night the kids mostly wanted to run around like wild savages or watch TV...while acting like wild savages. One night we were able to formalize an activity by playing "Minute to Win It." The "Stack Attack" game was popular. This is a game where you start with a stack of cups and need to arrange them into a pyramid. Then, you must collapse the cups back into a single stack in 60 seconds. My nephew Parker thought of a great way to win.

Why bother with the pyramid in the middle? It's so simple, why didn't I think of that?

I participated in "Face the cookie." This is where you place a cookie on your forehead and have to get it into your mouth with use of gravity and your facial muscles. Unfortunately, you also have to use up any ounce of pride you may have left as well. Naturally, I was able to complete the task.



The night before we planed on leaving, we heard there was a storm coming. So, we did the smart thing and preloaded up our cars with the food that we would need on hand should we get snowed in. As it started to snow, we had a snowball fight.





We went to bed to this:


And woke up to this:


The roads were all closed and our cars were buried. We had no choice but to stay. The landscape changed a lot in a short time. Take a look at these two pics. If Al Gore were with us, I'd throw a ball of global warming in his face.

Before
After

I figured we might as well make the most of it, so we played.


Meanwhile, my teenage nieces moaned that they had to be stuck in a multi-million dollar cabin with all the luxuries of home and then some. We all felt for them.

We did have a bit of a scare. Mom decided to start rationing the food. She was rightly concerned we might not have enough to survive the blizzard. Some people a few cabins over came to us food shopping as they had run completely out. After we gave them cereal, a dozen eggs, a couple pounds of russet potatoes, a honey glazed ham, and half slab of beef, our supply of food had depleted to the point that we could see parts of the kitchen counter.

The next morning we were advised of a break in the storm that we could use to make our escape. The cars were about half dug out when a few drove carefully to civilization to purchase snow chains for our vehicles. I completed the digging process.





It was ironic that all I wanted for Christmas break was to be cold. At this point, I was knee deep in snow shoveling my Christmas miracle. And due to the exercise, I wasn't cold at all.

When all the vehicles were chained up, free of snow and loaded to the brim with our meager five year food supply, we took our last group shots.









The ride back was pretty treacherous. At some points all we could see was a white haze ahead of us. We attempted to get out before the storm came back with a vengeance. Due to snow chains eating the surrounding wheel well of my sister's Suburban, we couldn't go more than 20 mph. Even then, with every revolution of the wheel, I could see my sister cringe at the thought of the damage being caused. I don't know what the big deal is. Once the snow thaws in the spring, someone will easily identify her bumper and, thanks to the licence plate, track her down to return it.

One of the vehicles may or may not have been lost in the caravan back, but my wife, child and I made it back to Mesa safely, so no regrets. Well, my mom did have one. Due to being snowed in, we missed our appointment with the photographer. I'm sure we'll get another chance to take pictures with the entire family next decade when we get together. Anna decided to have an impromptu photo shoot of our own in lieu.







New Year's Eve was surprisingly uneventful. But we did learn that if you keep Martinelli's on the shelf long enough, that sparking apple cider starts to blur the line between Mormon-safe and a phone call to your Bishop. It may have been 2011, but we were partying like we were drinking bottles from 1999...because apparently, we were.

The rest of the time I spent visiting friends and browsing in stores that are larger than the entire island of Guam. Another favorite pastime was taking walks. Arizona has so many citrus trees open for the plucking. Anna made sure to get more than her fair share. On one outing my mother was concerned that Maia would have cold hands, so she donated some gloves.

Something about this picture just does not look right.

All other free time was spent being my family's personal technical support. I reinstalled Windows on 3 computers, repaired 2 machines and built 1 from scratch. I wonder if surgeons have to perform free appendectomies and hysterectomies when they visit their families.

Anna and I had just enough time for her to get a patriarchal blessing and we were able to visit the Mesa Temple the day before we left. From Heaven on Earth it was off to Dante's seventh layer of Hell, known as "TSA airport screening" to laymen.

So now we are back. It was a great holiday season. Now comes the price of the trip. My lawn has grown over so much while I was away I found an entire tribe of indigenous people living there when I attempted to mow it today. Work piled up so high I had to get a second desk and declare my first one a loss. As much as I enjoyed the vacation, I'm glad to be home. Now, off to Vietnam to do it all over again for Tet, but this time, in a foreign language...

The Barrigada Guam Stake...

If you are not familiar with the structure of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, than telling you that we now have a stake in Guam means nothing.

Let me break it down. We have two types of congregations, Branches and Wards. A group of Branches makes a District. A group of Wards makes a Stake. It's like the difference between a high school football team and the NFL. A high school team (District) has the same rules and basic game play as the NFL (Stake). But high schools have smaller fields, bleachers, and crowds. And the players are a bit less experienced; not quite ready for the big leagues.

After years of trying, the Guam District has been "upgraded" to the level of a Stake. One key difference is that a District is run by outside counsel, often from mainland US. In a Stake, the leadership is all locals. There are other blessings that come with the change, such as High Priests and Patriarchs, but I think you get the idea.

To make the transition from District to Stake, we had one of the 12 Apostles, Elder L. Tom Perry come to Guam. Some TV stations felt his visit was worth reporting. The best coverage is here:



Part of Elder Perry's visit included choosing the first Stake President. To help him choose the right person within a short time frame, a pre-screened list was prepared. On this list was all of the current local Branch and District leaders. I was on that list.

When my interview came I was a bit less nervous than I would have expected. Partly because I had already met Elder Perry. The day before, he was having connectivity issues with his iPad and cell phone. I was asked to fix both.

During my interview Friday night, Elder Perry saw on my biographical information sheet that I was serving as clerk. He expressed how valuable that position was. He didn't say in so many words, but he seemed to recommend I continue on as Stake Clerk to ease into the transition. I expected that.

The next morning (Saturday) I got a call just before noon. I was about to put Maia down for a nap and grab lunch with Anna when my phone rang. It was the mission president asking me to go to the mission office immediately. I figured they wanted to extend the call as Clerk to me in person. I wasn't expecting that, but was ok with it. They also asked me to bring Anna and Maia.

When we got there we all sat down together. Elder Perry, Elder Stevenson (of the Seventy) and the new soon-to-be-called Stake President. Elder Perry asked Anna if I was nice to her. She hesitated for a second and then answered in the affirmative. Then I was asked if I would accept my new stake calling. Of course, I accepted the call.

After the short meeting, Anna asked if she could get a picture with Elder Perry. We got two. One where Elder Perry is looking down at Maia. One where Anna is blinking. And on both, Maia is on the verge of crying. She missed her nap - I don't think she was afraid of Elder Perry.




After this we were whisked away to a meeting with Elder Perry. He gave us great advice for starting up a new Stake. After that, we had only a couple hours free. It would take us 45 minutes to an hour round trip to go home and come back, so we stayed at the chapel. I set up for the Stake Conference Adult Session that night. Then we had dinner together as a group. Despite skipping lunch, I strangely had no appetite. Then we attended the night session of conference. I got home after 10pm and was exhausted.

The next morning (Sunday) I again went to the chapel early to set things up. When the time came, Elder Stevenson had asked for a sustaining vote to create the new Barrigada Guam Stake. I had no idea it was put to vote. It was unanimous. Then he asked for the sustaining of Arthur Clark as Stake President. He'd been the previous District President and did a great job. No surprises there. Then it was time to sustain Tom Clark as 1st Counselor. He was also in the last District Presidency and not a surprise. Then they called for the 2nd Counselor...Jared W Bodine. It was like in the movies when someone says something audacious in a courtroom. There was a small flurry of quite whispers. Clearly, I was the dark horse.

So now, Guam begins its journey as the Church's newest Stake. When I spoke on Sunday, I related it to a time I was a Boy Scout in Arizona. We hiked into the Grand Canyon to a place called Havasupai. It was a brutal summer hike down. The first thing I did was get into my swimsuit and relax in the cool Colorado river at the bottom. It wasn't long before I realized that despite my victorious triumph at making camp, I was still at the bottom of the world's largest canyon. The true work of getting out lay ahead of me. We have become a Stake and now we must take our new small stake and develop it into a strength in the community.

I'm grateful for the opportunity we have here in Guam. I'm looking forward to the coming months and am grateful that I get to be here for this historic event. Everyone in Guam will have their role to play and I'm grateful for mine. Basically, I'm just grateful all around.

Here's to the Barrigada Guam Stake, the first of hopefully many in Guam.

Thanksgiving 2010...

This was Maia's first Thanksgiving. Neither Anna nor I have family in Guam, so we spent most of the day at home, just the three of us. In the evening we went to some friend's house where we got to have traditional turkey and mashed potatoes (as well as all the other fixings). I failed to take pictures during the feast.

The next morning, since I still had work off, we went to the beach for a do-it-yourself photo shoot. Despite being an island girl, Maia has never been to the beach. Well, when she was one month old, we did go to a beach park, but didn't even get on the sand. Maia turned 6 months old the day before Thanksgiving, so we felt it was time to take some pics to remind ourselves that we do live on an island.

This is the result of us trying to make Maia look at the camera. It was a lot of work!

And now we are sitting at home, enjoying being together and feeling thankful for it.

I Just Got Done Milking My Wife...

I just got done milking my wife. Yeah, that was a phrase I never imagined myself expressing when I was young.

And before you criticize me for sharing a perfectly natural part of motherhood, remember that Anna read my blog before she married me. She knew what she was getting into...

Baby Blunders and a Liberating Day...

I've mentioned in past posts about Guam Liberation Day. It's a big holiday here, much more celebrated than the 4th of July. This is the day that American forces took back the island from the Japanese during WWII. I've only been on island for it once before, my first year here. And I know that some people didn't care for my new-to-Guam "haole" view of it. Well, to be fair, it was mostly gut reactions, partially inflammatory for the sake of being interesting to read and my own views have changed quite a bit since then. Being the first time in 4 years that I'd be on Guam for Liberation Day, I thought I would go. But...

It also is the day that Anna's mom chose to go home. Because I love to play to stereotypes, I've made all sorts of remarks regarding living with my mother-in-law. I am probably the only guy in the world that took his mother-in-law with him on his honeymoon to Maui. So when Anna's mom chose Liberation Day as the day to go back to Vietnam I joked with my acquaintances that it truly was "Liberation Day" in more ways than one.

We drove her to the airport this morning for a 5am flight. By the time we got home, we were too tired to sit at any parade. Maybe we'll see the celebration next year.

Maybe having a wife and baby has softened me some, but rather than continue my facade of unabashed funny man, I have to admit that she will be missed. Anna and I have been able to sleep through the night thanks to mother-in-law's willingness to stay up with Maia. And when I go to work all day, Anna has someone to speak to. It can get lonely at home with an infant all day. And mother-in-law is always ready to do laundry, dishes or cook a meal. But...

The critical funny man can't stay away for too long. Frankly, I'm glad babies are made of 90% rubber the first year. Because if not, I would be afraid to leave Maia alone with those two.

Anna's mom is an OBGYN in Vietnam. And she specialized in baby delivery. She is also a mother. So, naturally, you'd think that she would be a natural for taking care of a baby, right? Hm, maybe not. I wonder how Anna survived. Seeing Anna and her mom struggling to figure out diapers, I just sigh and walk away.

Early on I'd notice that Anna would just rock or put Maia down after a feeding. Her mom would often take Maia and hold her. I noticed that nowhere in the feeding process was anyone burping anyone. I had to explain to then that a burping should come with every feeding. It was odd being the one with the maternal instinct. That was when I first realized that maybe I should stick by just in case.

Anna is a first-time mother and only child. So, her exposure to children is very limited. And since Anna is an only child, her mom only scrapped by once. She just delivers babies, she doesn't take care of them afterward. I imagine her mom helped out a lot with Anna.

It took them both to bathe Maia. With mother-in-law gone, I assisted Anna today. While rinsing her up I asked Anna if she got Maia's armpits. Anna replied that she couldn't because she didn't want to bend her arm wrong. So, I reached in and suddenly skin was rolling off like dried rubber cement. Somehow, despite the two adults over a two month period of frequent washings, Maia had never once had her armpits cleaned. I will have to explain how joints work later.

Despite the regular minor infractions to child-rearing 101, I was a bit amused watching two of the three stooges at work. It almost reminded me of the Aborigines and the Coke bottle from "The Gods Must Be Crazy." Anna being topless all day helped solidify the comparison.

I did get a bit upset when I found out that Anna's mom thought Maia was thirsty, so fed her water rather than milk. Do I really need to explain this one? I later found out it was only a spoonful, but still.

I've now said enough to get Anna thoroughly mad at me. I should probably switch back to my maudlin, sentimental voice...

Anna's mom has come and gone. And despite it being Liberation Day, I know that with her absence, I am anything but liberated. All of the help and tireless assistance she offered has left with her. The stereotype demands that I don't get along with my mother-in-law, but I just have to buck tradition here. The language gap isn't what kept us from squabbling. Anna's mom is very giving. She is caring. She is thoughtful and friendly. And why would I expect anything else? After all, look at how great Anna turned out.

Now, how do I set up internet surveillance so I can keep an eye on Anna with the baby?

Looking Back on Pregnancy...

Now that the pregnancy is over I feel more safe sharing some things with you. Namely, the funny quotes and moments courtesy of maternal-minded Anna.

Sept - Anna grips the car armrest as we drive over a speed bump because she doesn't want to shake the baby too much.

Sept - "Do you remember the woman that you don't remember?"

Oct 13 - Anna cries for no reason during dinner. She admits that she even has no idea why.

Nov - I kiss anna as I tell her I love her. She runs to bathroom throwing up. When she's done I still love her anyway, she starts to throw up again.

Dec 4 - Anna first feels baby flutter in the womb. She isn't sure if its really baby moving or not. "Maybe I'm feeling things that I'm not feeling."

Jan 2010 - Anna to Jared: "You're funny, but not your sense of humor."

Jan 13 - Anna announces that she can no longer reach her toes, and therefore, need not clip her nails. (They are starting to shred our sheets.)

Feb 6 - Anna's belly is so big I have to push her up out of bed. She says she feels so large that she has a gravitaional pull. "When I move I can feel the universe moving with me."

Mar 3 - "How will I know when my water breaks?"

Apr 6 - When watching a breast feeding instructional video, "This is making me hungry."

I'm happy to report that postpartum Anna should be just as good a source of material. If she lets me live from this post, I'll give you more...

World, Meet Maia Lani Bodine...

Well, the waiting is over. The Stork has come at last. And according to Anna, at looong last.

The first thing I did is take copious amounts of pictures of Maia and send them to people via email, Twitter and Facebook using my cell phone. In my haste, I neglected to tell anyone the stats. Likewise you, my faithful reader, will have to read all the way through if you want that oddly gratifying sensation of hearing details of weight and labor time...

A lot has happened since my last post, obviously. Anna had a second baby shower at a friend's house. Good times.



After the two baby showers we had plenty of girl clothes. The baby had no choice at that point, she had to be a girl...or a boy that liked pink, to the point of nausea.

After these showers Anna went into "nesting mode" over time. She had washed all of Maia's clothes a few times just to make sure. The crib was up and decorated a few times over. Anna wanted to go all out and turn my manly cave/computer room to the baby room. I won that argument for the time being. I don't know how I managed to get the edge over a pregnant nesting woman, so I quietly walked out of the room backwards allowing anything else Anna wanted. I didn't want to stir the hornet's nest, as I'd pushed my fate and came out on top.

Anna's mom came on May 2 at 4am. She was stuck in customs for over an hour. My mother-in-law took English classes and learned how to fill out the customs forms. But when she was on the plane, they gave her a Japanese form. So, she sat with her luggage in Customs holding her illegible Japanese form just waiting for someone to figure out that she was lost. Had she been discarded luggage she would have been noticed and escorted out of the facility in 2 minutes flat. Perhaps next time we should have a sticker on her forehead that reads "Fragile" as she navigates the airport.



Since Anna's mom speaks no English, can't drive, and is staying with us in Yigo where there is nowhere to walk to, Anna had to take off work to babysit her mother until she could babysit the baby. A few days into her stay she noted that she'd been in Guam for some time and never seen the ocean. I took a day off to show her around.











The week of Anna's due date was hectic for me. I had Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles come to my office. We had a new chapel open up in Chuuk. I had to do some big annual fleet work. We had district conference which my calling of District Executive Secretary keep me involved. And I had to get everything ready for the baby.



Anna's due date came and went like passing gas in the wind. You think you catch a hint of something, but then it's gone.

We waited until Anna was 6 days overdue and scheduled induction for the 9th day past the due date (Monday, May 24). But late night May 23, Maia started to make her move. By midnight Anna was feeling intense contractions. They were still 10 or so minutes apart, so we just tried to sleep it off, which resulted in being waken up every 10 minutes. It's like sleeping with an alarm clock in snooze mode all night long. Only this alarm wakes you by noise and squeezing your hand so tight that your fingernails turn blue.

The morning finally came. We were planing on using a birthing center, but getting induced at the hospital. After calling both facilities we decided to skip induction and go natural. By noon the contractions were close enough and intense enough that we were admitted to the birthing center.

As soon as we checked in I plugged in my laptop, camera battery charger, set up my tripods and spare memory cards...oh, and I think Anna was around there somewhere. One strong contraction later there was no doubt that Anna was in the room.

We tried everything to get through the contractions. Bouncing on big exercise balls, leaning and swaying, walking, sitting, focal points, counting, and the obligatory "who who who heeee" thing.

By 3pm, Anna was about 5cm and her water broke. The baby was super low, so that pushing urge was strong. Anna had to fight it with every contraction. It got to the point where no one in the room could speak, move or even think too loudly. She needed total quiet and concentration just to keep from pushing. A warm bath helped to keep her calm while we waited for that darn cervix to open up. I recommended the jaws of life. No one seemed to get my joke. Note to self, birthing mothers and analytical midwives make a tough audience.

By 5pm her cervix was firmly planted at 8-9cm, which is at least one shy of where she should be. But with each contraction, Anna couldn't help but push a bit, and that was starting to cause swelling. After an hour of no improvement, the doctor decided to do something I didn't know was possible. She was going to allow Anna to push, and as the baby came, she would help tuck the cervix behind the head. I'm sure that was less than pleasant for Anna, the baby and the doctor. But it worked.

For half an hour Anna pushed with a fire and fury that I've only seen when I forget to leave the toilet seat down before I go to bed at night. I have to admit that I am very proud of Anna. The strength and control that she exhibited that night was like I've never seen before. You'd never know it to look at her, but she is a woman that can really take on any challenge and come out victorious.

After some tearing, blood and some other gross stuff I won't describe in detail, the baby, now to be known as Maia Lani Bodine, appeared at 6:43pm on the nose. This birthing center is big on the "golden hour" where baby goes straight to mom's chest and does not leave until the first feeding is complete.

I've seen plenty of birthing footage in biology class, Lamaze®, Discovery Chanel, and even my sisters' home videos. The blood and gross factor of what was happening really didn't phase me at all. And once the baby was out, and I looked at her, and my wife holding her, I was overcome with emotions. Visiting my sisters at the hospital a number of times before don't compare. It was truly a surreal moment for me. It's not often that I'm at a loss of words, but I really have no way to express the moment. I suppose it's one of those things that you can only know when you have been there yourself. And now I have.

I had some challenges calling both her family and mine due to a telecom fiasco (a whole 'nother story there). But after a quick call to my parents using a borrowed cell phone and uploading some quick cell phone pics, I got us all some food.

By the time I returned we had the stats that everybody wants to hear. She was a hefty 8.5 pounds and 21 inches long. That's big for a regular woman, but for someone with a frame like Anna that's like pulling an orange through a straw, only harder.



Before I knew it, it was after 11pm. Anna, my mother-in-law and I were all exhausted. We all slept at some point, but the details are as foggy as back stage at a Bob Marley festival.

The next morning I had to literally carry Anna to the bathroom. Use of her limbs is still slowly coming back. Mom and Baby had to continue to work out the breast feeding mechanics. This is something that you think of as natural and therefore, simple to do. We've perfected planes refueling in the air at hundreds of miles an hour, certainly breast feeding would be child's play in comparison. I've seen monkeys hurl dung at zoo patrons with more precision than Anna and Maia have been able to manage. Apparently, it's not always as simple as it would seem. I'm sure they will improve with practice.

After about 24 hours from birth, we washed up Anna, put a giant size diaper on her, bundled our Bundle of Joy into her car seat and headed to our happy home that was now truly housing a family.