"Give me some of that hair, that long beautiful hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair." - Hair by Golden Earing (I think)

How many people does it take to cuts Jared's Hair? The answer is 4, if you count Jared.
I have long since I have been here looked like a sheep dog. I hate long hair on me. I like it trimmed and clean and moderatly short. But it is hard to find someone to cut it and that goes for paying jobs too. Before I went to Fall Ball, i wanted to get a hair cut. I went to the campus hair butcher. They say that all guy haircuts are $10. I go there and the lady is standing around shooting the breeze and explaining to someone why she cant teach anyone how to cut hair leagally. Judging by her work, i dare say it's court ordered...
So after 15 min of waiting to get her attention, i ask about a hair cut. Nope. she said she had an appointment in another half-hour, so she couldnt trim me up. She could have, but she wouldnt. I keept up the shaggy impression.

After i got tired of it a few weeks later, i took some scissors to my head and cut it all by myself. It was suprizingly good. I didnt cut it as short as I would have liked, I was being judicious with my snips for fear of irrehencible damage. (hey, i dont check your spelling!) And again a few weeks later, i couldnt take it. I asked JaCi to cut it for me. I borrwed my roomates clippers and met her behind my hale. the outlet that I was told was there wasnt. so she did it with my scissors. It was fine, but still too long. When my hair is too long the bangs curl up like those of superman (not clark kent!). I dont like the Shirley Temple curls on my head. So, went to my room and began to trim myself again. the back was the part that i need worked on the most and is also the hardest to do. Jake tanner comes along and sees me. He offers to help, and does so...and leaves me looking like a 14th century paige. I'd kill the messenger if he looked like that too!
After a humiliating dinner, i went back to my room to make modifications on my self. Justin Benson, a guy who enjoyed a good laugh at my expence during said meal, took pity and came by to help. He made some brief modifications again followed by my finishing touches. At least at this point, i can walk down the street with pride...well...ok, it'll take more than that, but at least i'm one step closer...(and i'm about to break...)