What's In A Name...?

"O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?...Oh, what's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet; so Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection to which he owes without that title." - Juliet in Romeo + Juliet

Those famous lines of Juliet have nothing to do with the location of Romeo. "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" really translates into, "Why the heck do you have to have the name Romeo?" You see, they were truly a pair of star crossed lovers. And the ONLY reason why they didn't work out (besides the fact that they were emotional teen-age wreckingballs) was that...the name.

That brings me to my perdicament. My name. Truth be told, I like the name Jared. Juliet liked Romeo. That still didnt help the situation. I come from a long line of Jareds. No, it's not a family name, but it has had its rounds in history. The first I can think of is the brother of the brother of Jared. They called him "Jared" for short. Sure, he was nice enough. But he wasn't the good one. His brother was. It was Jared who was responsible for the start of kings amoung the Jaredites. They all went down the tubes. Not a Jaredite left. Good call, chet!

And don't forget the Subway Jared. I don't even need to explain that one. He sure did a lot for Jared Kind!

Think back to all the Jareds you know. I'm sure you know only a small number. They usually come in two forms. Big, dark and ugly or small, skinny and pale, glasses optional. The larger Jared breed is usually not very intelligent, but has a soft side. They once took a large Jared and taught it to take care of a small cat named Coco. The small Jared lurks in areas that are not well ventelated. Usually found in groups of other social missfits, small Jareds prefer to act quite the opposite of large Jareds and show off the intelligence they possess. Though they think that this will impress others, it has the reverse effect. Both breeds are found in a variety of locales, from the polynesian islands to the Mainland and everywhere inbetween. Universally, they also share the poor trait of having little to no sucess with the opposite sex. A Jared usually has to lower his standards below par to obtain a significant other. Ocassionaly, some Jareds break the mold, they suceed. Both beeds also are capable of raising normal and well adjusted children, so breeding is nothing to fear from them, the challange is getting willing participants.
I was named Jared, and therefore share the fate of that ilk.

I am not sure which "Jared" I am. I am deffinatly not skinny, but I also am pale, had glasses, and do well in school. I'm a sort of hybrid. Like if you cross two Jareds together.

I hope to be a new kind of Jared. A Jared that changes the Jared cliche. The kind of Jared that gets so well known that people will all know who you mean when you simply say, "Jared". Like a Prince or madonna or Cher, but with positive thoughts. Untill that day, i must battle everyday against the Jared stigmas which i face. Just today, Sadie was pondering why it is that she is always so mean to me. At lenght, she came to the conclusion that it must be due to a Jared that she knew at home that was mean to her and she didn't like. So i get his treatment? That's the way the ball bounces. Jessica was looking at a picture of her performance at Culture Night with me. (That reminds me, I broke rule 2, i paid the price that night.) There was a picture of a big, dark, unintelligent guy looking at the log he was supposed to be banging. I make a funny caption that applied to the expression on his face. Jessica died of laughter, especially when she remembered that he was also a Jared. Oi vey. Why must I be plauged by my name. It's a good name...or atlest it should be. What's in a name?

Maybe i could change it to Romeo...

"O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?" - (Jared to Sadie on 11-05-03 and) Romeo in Romeo + Juliet