When I Grow Up...

Father: "So, John, what do you want to do when you grow up?"
John: "I don't want to grow up; I want to be a Toys R Us kid."
- John Kerley to a date's father before they left for the evening.

At my age when someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up, they are basically talking down to you as a child with hopes and dreams, but no intent or purpose.

If you know me, you most likely say that I am immature. I can neither confirm nor deny that. But I can tell you what the official stance of Brigham Young University Hawaii General Consensus Department's™ stance on that is.

When I first came here as a young single lad I was full of hope and inspiring awe. Now it has been a full two years since I first stepped into the academic environment here and realized that the "H" in BYU-H actually stood for "High" as in High School. As far as I can tell, only one thing has changed in me from then to now. I am no longer young. For some reason I am really starting to feel my age. I see most of my actual peers moving on, getting married or worrying about their kids. They are adults. I may be the same age, but for some reason, am still just a kid.

I guess what really spurs this on is something that happened to me the other day. I went into an office here on campus. We make the mistake of hiring students for everything here on campus and have poor levels of service here as a result. This department is no exception. I had to see a department head about something. I made an appointment and was waiting to see him. When he comes out the secretary that knew I was waiting for the department head gestures toward me and says, "Oh, we have a kid here to see you..."

Not only did I not like what she said, she also said it in the "this is grow-up talk, pretend to not hear us" tone. This minimum wage employee was likely the same age as me; perhaps a couple of years older - tops. How is it so apparent that I am a "kid"? What is the real distinguisher here, anyway?

Then, the next day I went to my beloved* RA class. In this class our teacher wanted us to show the rest of our class what fun games we learned from other cultures. I had a look on my face that was quite obvious. I was trying to keep a smile but due to my mood, they must have thought I was like a creature in the wild just bearing my teeth in hopes to keep them at bay. I was not asked to participate.

Select few were called up to the front. They were paired guy/girl. Then they had to stand on a single sheet of newspaper and dance on it. After about :30 to :60 seconds they would stop the music and fold the paper in half and do it again. Once a pair was no longer capable of dancing on the paper they would be out. Cute? Ya, I played it a few times in FHE. Great. But at that moment I had a revelation. The reason I want to get married so bad has nothing to do with getting married. It's so I don't have to participate in stupid things like that anymore.

This is what the Brigham Young University Hawaii General Consensus Department's™ stance is on being an adult: If you are married, you are an adult. If not, you are a kid. That's it.

Had I been an adult, they would not make me sign out to make a midnight run to Chevron. If I had been an adult, they wouldn't have sent me to the Honor Code office and a tribunal council because I dressed up for April Fools. If I had been an adult they wouldn't make me eat three square meals in the Much Applauded Caf™ as part of my rent. If I were an adult President Shumway would have listened to me when I was there to support a proposal of a campus radio station and not shrug it off as mere childish fantasy. If I were an adult they wouldn't refer to me as "kid" when I am there on business. And if I were and adult they wouldn't make my class play a "dance-on-a-newspaper-with-some-girl-they-pair-you-with" game. The little gold or silver band on your finger distinguishes maturity not matrimony on this campus.

Being a kid can be fun. It has it's advantages. But I am tired of being talked down to. I am tired of having my opinions disregarded because I am just a kid. I am tired of having my teachers and married peers talk around me in exclusive "big-boy" tones. They sure seem to think of my wallet as a grown-up’s wallet. Why not me?

So, when people ask me what I want to do when I grow up won't tell them the cute little answers they expect from us lesser beings. No, not the fireman, policeman, superhero or even the lesser sought after childhood dream of fiscal clerk. I will tell them the truth. "I want to be a married adult that has your respect."

Truly, that is all I want to be.

I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cuz I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world

I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cuz I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cuz I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me tonight
I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cuz I'm just a kid tonight

- I'm Just A Kid by Simple Plan

* = Less than beloved...