Red, White and Blue Snow...

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In school, I got a bit annoyed with every “liberal” thinker automatically demonizing the white folk. Sure, there were some full frontal assaults on the slavery past, or war-time philosophies, but often, it was subtle and almost overlooked.

One such example was how my communication classes always would point out the flaws in the American communication system, namely, the English language. I am not saying that English is the perfect language or even the best, but it seems that we get treated as the worst. While I admit to some validity in the arguments, more often than not, it simply appears to be someone looking too hard for problems.

One example: On one hand I hear that we have too many saying and colloquialisms, on the other, we don’t have enough words to describe things. You can’t have it both ways!

Let’s look at the classic argument, that Eskimos have 15 words for snow. I have heard many numbers, but 15 is the most commonly agreed upon.

How does having 15 words for snow make them so darn special? What’s wrong with only having one? And who decided that we don’t have enough words for snow anyway? I can think of at least 10 words for snow in the English language that most people would recognize right away.
How about:

1. Snow
2. Frost
3. Powder
4. Snowflake
5. Snowball
6. Blizard
7. Sleet
8. Flurry
9. Slush
10. Hail

And, keep in mind that the 15 words for snow are from the Yupik language, not the more famous and commonly spoken Inuit, which has less. And the special 15 Eskimo words for snow are really a mix of both the physical snow itself and the type of snow storm. So, if you include our words for that, we have a fair match.

So, how about the same philosophy being used the other way around? Turnabout is fair play, right? I argue that English is a better language than any Eskimo language because we have so many words for rain that they do not.

Try:

1. Rain
2. Showers
3. Mist
4. Downpour
5. Pouring
6. Drizzle
7. Precipitation
8. Dew
9. Raindrops
10. Droplets
11. Raining Cats and Dogs
12. Mizzle
13. Volley
14. Raincheck

Ok, so I got a bit carried away, but the point stands strong!

Every language has its own merits. Every language has its drawbacks. English is no exception. But if the English language is so darn horrible, it seems odd that it would be such a strong language with such global prevalence. And let’s not be so naive to say that it’s only because we also have so many words for money.

If the Eskimo languages were that superior to our English, I think it would be more used. So why don’t we stop trying to find all the reasons we can to pooh-pooh the Americans, especially in American schools? I’m not being blinded by patriotism, but I don’t think one hast o hate his home country to be “international” or “liberal” either.

If you all think that Eskimo is so wonderful, let me close this P.O.’d cast the Inuit way. You already know that I’m Jared Bodine, and I’m P.O.’d. Tell me if you think this is all that much better. Torklurarpok Jared Bodine, Nimnarpok!

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