Friday, April 09, 2004

The Axe Effect...

Experience the "Axe Effect"!
- Axe body deodorant spray commercials


So, I wanted some good cologne. I want to smell good so when girls walk by me they think, "Hmmm, yummy." Right now, they don't. I decided to try this new Axe body spray. If you go to the store and spray it in the air and take a whiff, it's pretty good stuff. I spray it on. It's body spray, so you spray it on your chest and arms and unmentionables. After about five minuets the "Axe Effect" is all but gone.

In the commercials the girls just loose all control around the guy and start forcing a make out session on him. I'm not saying that I want that (necessarily), but that is pretty far off. I don't usually expect advertising to be totally accurate, but I was hoping for at least a pleasant scent all day. No dice.

They really should put a disclaimer on the commercials that's more accurate. Like, "Results may vary (and not for the better. This is the absolute best case scenario, and given the fact that you need this product, it will not happen to a guy like you. That guy is an actor and she is getting paid. Save the money on this product and just pay a girl to kiss you. She won't be much of a looker, but we are confident that a man like yourself has low standards as it is. ) Not for internal use. Induce vomiting if accidentally ingested (unless you realize that this product won't help your pathetic love life and choose to end it all. Then you want to buy 3 bottles all of different fragrances. There were designed to cat like mustard gas when mixed for this reason.)"

The Axe Effect = Eating mac and cheese alone on a Friday night.

1 comment:

Jared said...

Well said. I really sprayed it because I secretly want to destroy the o-zone layer. Someday, my mission will be complete!