Stop Me If You Have Heard This One...

Laie is like an island within an island. Especially when it comes to jokes.

Yesterday I heard this one:

So, a guy walks into work with two black eyes. It looks so bad the boss takes notice. He asks the guy what happened.
"Well, before I came here I went to the bank. Infront of me in line was this big lady wearing stretch pants. She was pretty large and she had a wedgie real bad. So, I thought the best thing to do would be to pick it out real quick and not make an issue of it. She got mad and punched me right in the eye."
"Ya, ok. But what about the other eye?"
"Oh, well, I thought since she wanted it like that I'd put it back in for her."

Ya, it's not a bad one....the first few times you hear it. The last time I heard it was the worst yet. It was so poorly told we analyzed the effectiveness of the joke.

"It was an ok, joke. You got laughs because the joke quality, not delivery. Delivery is 90% of any joke."

"So, out of the four people here, three people laughed. That makes it 75%!"

"Ya, but one was you, the joke teller, which don't count, so only 2 of 3 laughed. That's a yield of 66.6-repeating %."

"Considering that only 10% of the joke was effective that is a good investment."

"No, you didn't tell it well, but you believed in the joke which is a big part, about 50% of available pointage. Fifty percent of 90 would be about 45%. That means about 45% for delivery and 10% for joke. I bet you could have told it worse, let's say an extra 5% on delivery for getting the facts straight. That makes a 60% hillarium total joke and a 66.6-repeating % return. All in all, you made out with a 6.6-repeating % gain on the venture. So, Kudos. That joke is a keeper. If you were to put more effort into the joke and got the other person to laugh, you'd have 100% laugh and would be sure to make your intake worth the output."

"Ya, It's a keeper."

"But barely..."

I know - you think I made this up. I didn't. We really did have this conversation. I did the math. And what's more pathetic, the whole time I was thinking, "this is so sorry I could turn it into a blog."

My life is sad....so very sad....