"Hey! My mom says that I'm not fat, I'm festively plump!"
- Eric Cartman from South Park
As I mentioned earlier, BYU-Hawaii is under construction. One of the things they are doing is beautifying the road leading to the temple. A tradition in Hawaii is to line the paths to sacred or special places of significance with the Royal Palm. Some one asked me the other day what was a Royal Palm as contrasted to a Non-Royal Palm. They are easily recognizable as a palm tree, and I am pretty sure that they don't produce usable coconuts. The thing that makes them unique is that the center of the trunk has a little bulge. It simply has a wider section in the middle. That's when it hit me. The very thing that makes a Royal Palm royal is the key reason why many girls seem to be less attracted to me - the bulge in the middle.
I shouldn't be left out or looked down upon. I also shouldn't (as Fei informed me I do) intimidate all the Asian girls because I am so much larger than them. The fact of the matter is, I'm not fat, plump or "big boned". No I, Jared Bodine, am ROYAL!
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