Monday, May 31, 2004

Now that takes guts...

I just stumbled across an article today about a woman that gave herself a Caesarean section. The story of this Mexican celebrity goes something like this:

"The nearest clinic was more than 50 miles away over rough terrain and inhospitable roads, and her husband, her only assistant during a half-dozen previous births, was drinking at a cantina. She had no phone and neither did the cantina.
So at midnight, after 12 hours of constant pain, the petite, 40-year-old mother of six sat down on a low wooden bench. She took several gulps from a bottle of rubbing alcohol, grabbed the 6-inch knife she used for butchering animals and pointed it at her belly.
And then she began to cut.
Under the light of a single dim bulb, Ramirez sawed through skin, fat and muscle before reaching inside her uterus and pulling out her baby boy. She says she cut his umbilical cord with a pair of scissors, then passed out."


This isn't just some quick last minute decision either.

"Ramirez believes that she operated on herself for about an hour before extricating her child and then fainting. When she regained consciousness, she wrapped a sweater around her bleeding abdomen and asked her 6-year-old son, Benito, to run for help. Several hours later, Cruz and a second health worker -- whose combined medical knowledge was limited to handing out medicines -- found Ramirez alert and lying beside her live baby.
Cruz sewed her 7-inch incision together with a regular needle and thread... They bounced for eight hours over winding, hole-riddled dirt roads before making it to the hospital in San Pablo Huixtepec, about 240 miles southeast of Mexico City."
'When she arrived, she was conscious, with no signs of shock, perfectly fine,' Galvan said... Today her scar is almost invisible."


What kind of credentials did she have?

"Asked what guided her in the operation, she replied, 'I had slaughtered chickens and other animals.'"


Kudos to her! This is the first women to get "Jared's 'Pimptacular!' award of the year", 2004.

Here we have this woman and I have to hear women (like my sisters) whine an moan about child birth in our cozy hospitals, with stirrups for the feet and epidurals for the pain. What wimps! If I ever get married (don't hold your breath) and have a pregnant wife, I will have her read this story first. That way it won't be the typical scene where we are in the air conditioned facility, she's squeezing my hand off while cussing me out (explaining that my parent's are not married) and telling everyone that she had nothing to do with it; it was all MY fault.

I know, I know. Jared is insensitive and neither knows what he is saying nor is correct. Don't worry, I'll get mine. And once I get my first kidney stone, I'll be the first to take this all back.

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